An Empath's Burden
by Demigod
Summary: COMPLETE Raven's empathic abilities won't let her ignore Beastboy's grief over Terra. She must try to console him, but in the process, she finds that it's more than just empathy making her reach out to him. BBRaven COMPLETE
1. Grief and Consolation

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.

Please note that this takes place after the "Aftershock Pt II", which is preimiering Saturday at 8 PM in the United States. I've only seen it from downloading the episode. If you are afraid of spoilers, don't read it until after you see the episode.  
  
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An Empath's Burden  
  
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Raven sighed, closing her book. She could still feel his anguish, even though he was across the city, and underground. He was looking at that statue again, the statue that had once been Terra. The city had been quiet in the weeks following her death, crime hadn't returned with the populace that was slowly moving back into the homes and businesses of Jump City. Life was returning, inevitably, to normalcy.  
  
Raven's life, however, couldn't even itself out until the emotions of the team did. Her empathic abilities, constantly active, gave her the unwanted burden of feeling everyone's emotions, particularly those of her friends. She didn't feel them as strongly as they did, and they didn't normally affect her meditation, but Beastboy was a different case.  
  
She closed her eyes, trying to block his grief. It was useless. He still believed that he had loved her, and he was still grieving day and night over her stone form. Raven shook her head sadly. He was deluding himself. What he had felt for her was nothing but a childish crush, a temporary fling as two young teenagers experimented with their feelings. Raven felt pity for Beastboy, but also anger. Anger that Terra had abandoned them, anger that Slade had hurt them, and anger that Beastboy's grief wouldn't let her move on.  
  
She stood up, walking from the couch to the large window, staring out over the waters surrounding Titan's Tower. The city was still in fair condition, regardless of the mass evacuation. The thought of what may have happened had Terra not been able to stop the volcano made Raven shudder. As much as she acted like they all irritated her, the Titans were important to her. Had Jump City been destroyed, the Titans would have dissapated, and she would never survive without them.  
  
She pressed her hand to the glass, the coolness of the autumn night outside evident through the window. A sudden twinge of grief brought her back to the problem at hand. Beastboy was still distraught. She reached out with tendrils of psychic power, trying to locate his mind, and to see what he was doing.  
  
Her search found fruit in a resturant, downtown. Beastboy was forlornly eating pizza, alone. Her mind crept into his, viewing through his eyes as he stared into space, thinking of the blonde girl he'd lost. Raven felt the full brunt of his feelings, her mind so entertwined with his. She pulled away, knowing the danger inherent in feeling so strongly. Moments later, she was once again inside Titan's Tower, staring out over the moonlit waters.  
  
She pulled her cloak around her tightly, as she focused her mind, phasing through the window and levitating in the cold night air. It was refreshing, in a way, to feel the breeze blow across her as she floated slowly over the water. Flying always calmed her, made her feel free. She landed gently on the rooftop of the building across the street from the pizza parlor.  
  
Beastboy was still sitting in the dining area, on the parlor's balcony. He was staring off into the stars, facing away from Raven. She stood silently, her cloak billowing in the gentle night wind. She felt pity for him. Despite the irritation that he constantly caused her, she couldn't make herself hate him. Beastboy felt everything so much more vividly than she did, and she enjoyed being near him, if not just to feel what he felt.  
  
Recently, however, it had been less enjoyable. His constant, burning grief caused her meditation to fail, and even caused occasional energy releases. She watched as he stared into nothing, his sadness pervading the atmosphere. She sighed, consigning herself to a conversation. Raven floated gently down from the rooftop to his table, sitting silently oppisite from him, and looking with mild disgust at the tofu and mushroom pizza.  
  
"You're still thinking of her." The simple sentence was an obvious statement, but she could think of little else to start with.  
  
Beastboy jumped slightly at her voice, but didn't turn around. His voice was angry, as if he didn't want to speak. "It's only been three weeks, Raven. I can stay sad this long."  
  
Raven stayed silent for the time being. She hadn't wanted to evoke anger in the boy, she had wanted to console him. She was bad at this, she shouldn't even try. She had almost convinced herself to leave, when he spoke again, his voice calmer.  
  
"I'm sorry Raven, I know you didn't mean it like that." Beastboy turned in his seat, facing her. His eyes were moist, but his tears had dried. "It's just... it's still a sore subject."  
  
Raven nodded, resigning herself once more to stay. A moment passed before she spoke again. "I am here if you need to talk, Beastboy."  
  
Beastboy sighed heavily, looking down at his pizza, though not eating. "You don't know how it feels, Raven. You almost hated Terra."  
  
The empath shook her head. "I won't lie, Beastboy. Terra was never my favorite Titan. However, you know that I understand exactly how you feel."  
  
"She was just... she was my first love, y'know? I don't feel like I'll ever get over her." Beastboy's voice was sad and lonely, and Raven felt her heart reach out to him. She wished that she could do something to make him feel better, but could think of nothing.  
  
"You'll always remember her. You are too good a person to forget someone special to you." Raven felt strange talking like this. She knew that Beastboy was wondering why she was doing it, but the truth was that she didn't know why herself.  
  
Beastboy nodded, a sad grin crossing his face. "You're being nice to me, Raven. What's the occasion?"  
  
Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, as she looked away. "Don't get used to it."  
  
His grin remained a few seconds, then faded. "Thanks for talking to me, but it won't help. She's gone."  
  
Raven nodded, feeling his sadness once more. "She's gone, but there are other girls, and you have a long life ahead of you. You'll never forget her, but you'll feel better in time."  
  
Beastboy nodded, not really believing her, but thankful that at least she was speaking to him. "You know, you are the first one to talk to me about this. Robin just trains all day, trying to push it away. Cyborg is still building another car, and Starfire... I can't talk to Starfire about serious things."  
  
Raven nodded, keeping her face deadpan, despite the sudden happiness she felt. She couldn't tell why she felt glad to be the first to talk to him, but she did. She pushed it out of her mind, emotions were pointless, she had to focus on the here and now. "You need to speak to someone, and I hate to see anyone suffer like you are."  
  
Beastboy nodded, still saddened. "So, you think I'll get over her eventually?"  
  
"It will take less time than you think, but more than you want it to. Still, you will feel better eventually. In the meantime, feel free to talk to me, whenever you need to." Raven surprised herself with the open invitation. They both knew how irritated she got with interruptions. Still, it was too late to take back her words.  
  
Beastboy's laughter made her feel warm, glad to have helped him cheer up, if only for a moment. "C'mon Raven, you can't expect me to believe that. You never want to talk to me!"  
  
Raven felt her cheeks burning. She felt strange, blushing like this. She convinced herself that it was only because she was unused to this kind of talk. She was thankful that her hood shadowed her face. "The offer stands, it's up to you whether you use it or not."  
  
Beastboy sighed, looking back up at the stars. It was a few seconds before either of them spoke again. "I'll come to your room if I need to talk. Thanks, Raven."  
  
Raven allowed a small smile, then stood, closing the pizza box. Beastboy looked up at her. "We need to get to sleep, Robin has group traning planned for tomorrow."  
  
Beastboy nodded. "Yeah, if I show up half-asleep again, he's going to go ape."  
  
Raven tried to ignore the shape change, and the large green ape in front of her. "If you make any more puns, I'm going to 'go ape'. Let's go, Beastboy." Raven began to levitate away, feeling silly flying over the city while holding a pizza box. She watched Beastboy flap his wings, as he flew next to her as a small songbird.  
  
Flying always made her feel free, she wondered if it did the same for him. She didn't have much time to think, however, as the Tower was not far from the resturant. They landed on the rooftop, silently he walked in front of her, then opened the door, holding it open for her as she walked through. Chivalry wasn't dead.  
  
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Late that night, Raven sat alone in her room, attempting to meditate. She hovered over her bed, quietly repeating her mantra, the image of her mind forming slowly around her. Despite her closed eyes, she could see the reddened sky, the stone islands, and the long pathways stretching on for infinity. She felt her body calming, the barely contained energy focusing once more into her soul, where it wouldn't simply escape at a moment's notice.  
  
The calm lasted for only a few minutes houwever. The image faded away as someone knocked on her door. She winced at the sudden loss of concentration. She floated to the floor, then walked over to the doorway, the irritation on her face being replaced by her normal empty expression. She pressed the button to open the door, revealing a nervous looking Beastboy.  
  
Beastboy scratched the back of his head, obviously nervous. Raven stood in the doorway, waiting for him to speak. A few seconds passed. Raven's limited patience was quickly waning.  
  
"What do you want, Beastboy?" Raven's voice was deadpan, but there was no anger in it.  
  
"I... I uh... Can't sleep. I keep dreaming about that battle." Beastboy looked at the floor, obviously nervous at interrupting Raven.  
  
Raven sighed. She had given him an open invitation, after all. She stepped to the side. "Come in, just don't touch anything."  
  
Beastboy walked into her room, careful to avoid getting anywhere near anything. He remembered the last time he had played with Raven's stuff, it had led to a dangerous and strange journey through the empath's mind. He heard the door hiss shut behind him.  
  
"I suppose you want to talk, since you came in here." Raven walked past Beastboy, and sat on her bed.  
  
Beastboy nodded slowly. "I need to find some way of getting over her. You know how you meditated for two days straight? Is there some way that I can just... stop feling bad, like you did?"  
  
Raven sighed, shaking her head. "No. My meditation techniques take years to perfect. You can't simply chant some magic words and drive it away. You need to face it like anyone else."  
  
He sighed, obviously disappointed. "It's hard to get over it though. I just... I don't understand why she did it."  
  
Raven stayed silent. She really had no idea how to console a normal person through this sort of thing. "What did you like about Terra?"  
  
Beastboy looked at her strangely. He thought for a moment, then spoke, ticking off the things he liked about her on his fingers. "She was really cute, uh... she laughed at my jokes, she... um... let's see..."  
  
His voice trailed off. He sat for a moment, pensive. A few silent moments passed as the two teens thought about the girl they'd lost. Beastboy shrugged. "I guess she was just special to me. She was the first girl that ever paid attention to me."  
  
Raven raised an eyebrow. "She won't be the only one."  
  
He shrugged. "You don't know that. She might have been the only girl I had a chance with."  
  
The empath sighed heavily, not believing she was about to say it. "Beastboy, you are over reacting. You will have plenty of girls, trust me. You have a good personality, you're a nice guy, and you're... not ugly." Raven looked away.  
  
Beastboy laughed. "Not ugly? Gee, thanks Raven." He paused for a second, thinking. "Raven, I'm sorry. This is hard for you, to talk like this, isn't it?"  
  
Raven didn't respond right away. She looked back at him, her face still deadpan. "I'm not used to it."  
  
Beastboy grinned, a true, actual grin. Raven rejoiced inwardly, happy to see the old smile back in place. "Thanks. C'mon Raven, wanna go out and get pizza or something, to celebrate your new open attitude?"  
  
Raven closed her eyes for a moment, then allowed just a small smile. "It's a little late for pizza. Maybe some other time."  
  
Her green friend nodded. "Ok Raven, I'll remember that. I'm still tired though, so I'm going back to bed. Thanks for talking to me."  
  
Raven nodded, and watched him leave. She used her powers to press the button to lock the door, then fell back on her bed, exhausted. She hated talks like that, awkward and untrained counciling wasn't for her. She heard a few taps on her window, and she turned, seeing the rain beginning to fall.  
  
She sat up on her bed, then levitated in a lotus position, still watching the rain fall. It was calming, the sound of the drops hitting the window, the change in the atmosphere as the rain took the dust and soot out of the air. She closed her eyes once more, allowing the sound to lull her once more into a meditative trance, calming her nerves and resting her mind. Beastboy felt better for tonight, but the invitation was still open, and she had a feeling he would be using it. For now, however, she was once again calm.  
  
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A/N: Just the agnstish beginnings to a BB/Raven fic. Being an empath such as Raven, when you can't turn off the ability to feel what others feel, would be difficult. Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review. I'll write more soon. Many people have requested a BB/Raven fic from me, and I'm happy to oblige. It's a cute coupling. See you soon in the next chapter.


	2. Groceries and Confessions

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Christina: Glad you liked the story! Starfire seems like she'd be fun to hang around with, but I can't imagine her being serious about much of anything for long. Plus, that would make this a BB/Star fic, and ew. Anyway, glad you liked it.  
  
Change-Of-Heart2: Thanks! In the comic books, Raven can't turn that ability off, and she is constantly aware of everyone's mental and physical state around her. What an awful ability. In the show, it hasn't mentioned it yet. Not sure what powers the show gives her, but it's a good fanfic plot device anyway.  
  
The Big Fisch: Well, I dunno how good this story will be yet, but I am glad that it's started off well. Glad you look forward to future chapters.  
  
Psyduck054: Glad you enjoyed it. I'll be updating soon.  
  
spAybaraSimonslit: I think Raven is a nice person at heart, she just puts up a cold front. Glad you liked it.  
  
Cradle-Robber Speedo-kun: Terra is a strange character in the show. She doesn't have as much of a iconic personality as the rest of the Titans, so it's hard to write her. Glad you like the fic though.  
  
Happy-Raven: Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad that I can keep them in character, it takes a lot of time sometimes to get it right. Beastboy needs to be sad about Terra, he'd be a real jerk if he just forgot about her right away. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Slayergirl1362: Glad you like the fic. Yep, her empathic powers make things more interesting, and give her even more reason to like Beastboy as a friend, and perhaps as more. I usually post at least one chapter a day, though from time to time I slip up a day.  
  
Regrem Erutaerc: Telekinesis and Telepathy are two very different powers, and I'm aware of that. In the comic books, Raven has telepathy, and she almost never fights, due to her extremely pacifist upbringing. My fics use a weird amalgam of comic book and animated show lore, so Raven often ends up with a lot of abilities. She doesn't use telepathy a lot in this fic, so don't worry about it too much. Glad you're enjoying it though, and thanks for the luck.  
  
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An Empath's Burden  
  
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Raven woke early the next morning. She had slept well after the talk with Beastboy, and she felt well rested for the upcoming day. Group training was not something that she looked forward to. Robin enjoyed making sure that the team worked together as one unit, so he designed elaborate training course routines that focused on the team working to save each member that was in danger, while still fighting an offensive battle. It was tiring, and Raven knew for a fact that only Robin enjoyed it.  
  
She got out of bed, showered, and brushed her hair, getting ready for the day. Everything was still normal, despite the weird change of talking to Beastboy in the middle of the night. Raven's mind instinctively reached outward, her concern for Beastboy causing her to search for him, to find out how he was feeling. He was in the hallway between the common room and her room, nervous about something. She was happy that at least he wasn't still grieving. She released his mind, then returned to her own mind, as she dressed herself for the day.  
  
She had just finished putting on her black leather costume when a knock came at the door. Leaving her cloak on the bed, she walked over and pressed the switch to open it. Beastboy once again greeted her eyes, looking less nervous than last night, but still not exactly his confident self. "Thought you might be up. Want to come out and get some breakfast before everyone else gets up?"  
  
Raven's face remained deadpan. "I'm surprised you are awake so early, Beastboy. Still couldn't sleep?"  
  
Beastboy shook his head. "I just woke up early, don't know why. Anyway, breakfast? We only have twenty minutes before Cyborg wakes up and starts cooking meat for everyone."  
  
Raven nodded, walking out into the hallway and following Beastboy. She didn't normally eat tofu, but if joining him would help stay happy for a while, she didn't mind. Besides, she rarely got the chance to eat breakfast without constant arguing in the kitchen.  
  
"So, what's up with you not wearing a cape today?" Beastboy looked back over his shoulder at Raven as they walked towards the common room.  
  
She looked down at herself, clad only in her black leather leotard, she'd left her cloak in her room. "It was an accident. I'll put it on before training."  
  
Beastboy looked at her, still walking. "I wasn't complaining. You really have a nice figure without that cloak covering you up."  
  
Raven rolled her eyes. "Beastboy, you shouldn't be looking at my figure."  
  
Beastboy grinned. "Hey, I was just noticing! I wasn't hitting on you or--" Beastboy's voice stopped as he walked into the door to the common room. Raven caught him as he fell down from surprise.  
  
"I meant that you should watch where you are walking." Raven's voice was calm and even, but Beastboy could detect a hint of amusement in it.  
  
Beastboy stood up again, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Heh. Yeah, sorry. Anyway," he said, pressing the switch to open the door, "what do you want for breakfast?"  
  
"Whatever you cook will be fine. Do you want tea?" Raven walked with Beastboy across the room to the small kitchen area in the corner. Beastboy began getting out tofu chunks and a frying pan, preparing to make tofu eggs. Raven took out a single-serving tea bag, already anticipating his answer.  
  
"No thanks, that stuff is way to bitter for me. Do we have any orange juice?" Beastboy mashed up the tofu, trying to make it look more like eggs than gelatinous blocks of soy. Raven looked in the fridge.  
  
"It seems we're out of almost everything. Someone will need to go shopping for food today. It's either water or tea to drink, Beastboy."  
  
Beastboy shrugged. "Then I'll take tea, I guess. Better than nothing." The tofu sizzled in the quickly heating frying pan, smelling like frying soy. Raven tried her best to keep some type of appetite. She began preparing the tea for the two of them.  
  
It didn't take long for the eggs and tea to be ready, and the two teenagers sat oppisite eachother at the table, food and drinks in front of them. Raven tried her best to stomach the unflavored tofu, and Beastboy downed the eggs nearly immediately, then struggled with the tea.  
  
After the breakfast had been sufficiently picked through, the two teens sat across from one another silently, sipping tea to make themselves feel less awkward. A few more minutes passed, without anything being said. Raven felt strange, sitting here with this boy she'd known for years now, but still feeling like anything she said would be the wrong thing. Why was she so nervous?  
  
Beastboy leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling, and balancing a fork upright on his nose. Raven raised an eyebrow. He was such an odd person. She watched as he intently moved his head back and forth, keeping the fork pointed at the ceiling. She felt that he was trying to look casual, though inwardly he was as bothered by the weird situation as she was. The door to the room suddenly hissed open, and Beastboy lost his balance, falling backwards out of his leaning chair. Raven waved her hand lightly, encasing the fork in a black aura, and placing it back on the table, saving Beastboy from a possible puncture wound.  
  
Cyborg stepped into the room, yawning slightly. "Hey guys. Y'all just woke up early this mornin'?" Cyborg shuffled his way across the room, towards the kitchen, obviously half asleep.  
  
Beastboy got up, stunned from the fall, but still glad to see his friend. "Yeah, better eat up! Robin's got us training today, remember?"  
  
Cyborg nodded, pulling some rather old-looking bacon out of the fridge. "Man, looks like someone needs to go shopping today. Who's turn is it?"  
  
Raven cut in, her voice laced with irritation. "It's my turn. Think of a list, I'll get whatever we need."  
  
Cyborg grinned. "Yeah, sure, Rae. You can take the T-Car if it'll help."  
  
Raven nodded absentmindedly. She was still focused on the training today. She wondered when Robin would show up, trying to get the team ready for the long simulated battles that always accompanied this sort of training. She didn't really benefit from this sort of thing, a day of meditation and looking inward serviced her powers much more than frenzied combat training.  
  
The bacon started sizzling in the pork fat, filling the room with an intoxicating smell of meat. Raven, accustomed to bacon in the mornings, found the smell delectable, especially with Cyborg's own blend of spices thrown in. Beastboy, however, politely excused himself to go shower. Raven watched him as he left the room, remembering the long, awkward silence they had shared. She sensed an aura of suspicion behind her.  
  
"So, what's up with you and B? He never wakes up this early." Cyborg grinned at her mischeivously, as the bacon popped and sizzled.  
  
"Nothing. He simply woke up early today." Raven looked at Cyborg with her normal, dispassionate face.  
  
"Nothing." Cyborg imitated Raven's deadpan voice. "If it's nothing, then why were you staring like that when he left?"  
  
Raven stood, gathering her plates as well as Beastboy's. She took them to the sink, scowling slightly. "There is nothing new between us. I simply helped him get over Terra's death, by talking to him about it. He was grieving, and I dislike seeing anyone depressed."  
  
Cyborg nodded, still grinning. "Well, good luck to you, Raven." Cyborg took his over-crisp bacon to the table, laughing as he went. Raven tried to ignore the gentle ribbing, and walked past the table to the exit.  
  
"I will be in my room. Send someone to come get me when the training is supposed to begin." She left, saying nothing more. Cyborg was irritating her this morning. She didn't stare at Beastboy, she was watching to see if he was still sad. Nothing was strange between them. Why would anything be strange? Consoling someone shouldn't change a friendship.  
  
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Raven was reading leisurely when the knock came at her door. She had been expecting it, so she'd postponed her meditation for today. She stood, laying the book down on the bed, and walked over to the door. Her cloak was on now, and she felt much more comfortable with her entire costume on. The door opened, revealing Beastboy yet again.  
  
"Hey Raven. Just came to tell you that-"  
  
"-training has begun." Raven finished his sentence, stepping through the doorway and past Beastboy.  
  
"uh.. Actually yes, but we're exempt." Beastboy laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "I told Robin that we needed groceries, and he sent me to tell you to just do that rather than train."  
  
Raven looked at him dispassionately. "That doesn't explain your exemption."  
  
He sighed. "I spent too much time alone, got to thinking about Terra again. Robin actually noticed that I wasn't in the best of moods, and told me to take as much time as I needed to move on, that he would just train with Star and Cyborg."  
  
Raven nodded. She did sense that behind his facade of cheerfulness, he was still saddened. Time alone was bad for people trying to forget their pain. She started walking towards the elevator. "Do you want to come with me?"  
  
Beastboy turned, then hurried to catch up with her. "To go shopping? Why? You don't need the help."  
  
Raven didn't turn towards him. Her voice was as monotone and even as ever. "It would help keep your mind off of her."  
  
Beastboy nodded. "Oh yeah, we made up this list of things to buy." He dug around in his pocket for a moment, then handed her a fairly long list of items. She scanned it quickly, it looked like the normal things that everyone wanted.  
  
The elevator doors slid open noiselessly, and they both stepped inside. Raven pressed the button for the garage floor, and the tunnel leading to the city streets. Being on an island presents it's own problems for car owners. She walked over to the T-car, grabbing the keys off the rack on the wall as she went. Beastboy made a lunge for the keys, though she noticed and kept them out of reach.  
  
"Hey, c'mon Raven, I never get to drive!"  
  
Raven sighed, still holding on to the keys. "The last time you drove, you scraped against a guardrail on the highway for two hundred feet. Cyborg spent a week replacing side panels and fixing doors."  
  
Beastboy pouted, then walked to the passenger door. Raven got into the driver's seat and started the car.  
  
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Raven sighed as she entered the grocery store. She hated the flourescent lighting, the soft, shallow music playing in the background, and the crowds of gawking civilians. Beastboy didn't seem to mind, however, as he walked on through the doors, whistling to himself. She followed, trying to avoid the stares of the populace.  
  
"So what's first on the list, Raven?" Beastboy looked idly through the produce, selecting a few tomatoes that looked about right. Raven pulled out the list as Beastboy bagged the tomatoes.  
  
"The first is... tofu." Raven's voice showed a bit of irritation, since Beastboy obviously knew what was first.  
  
"Oh, that's a few aisles away. Any more produce?" Beastboy sniffed at a potato that looked a little off, then put it down with a look of distaste.  
  
Raven sighed. "Lettuce, onions, carrots, potatoes, the usual." Raven looked up with irritation. "Looks like one of your fans is coming."  
  
A little boy of maybe eight years came over to Beastboy, with stars in his eyes and nervousness in his steps. Raven tried to find some vegetables while Beastboy spoke to the child. She'd never been good with children, they tended to fear her if they knew about her, and she tended to fear them if they didn't.  
  
"Wow! It's really you! You're Beastboy from the Titans!" The little kid was clutching a small pad of paper, and smiling brightly.  
  
Beastboy grinned, kneeling . "Yep! The one and only! What's up?" Raven looked at Beastboy with envy. She had always felt bad about her inability to deal with children, but it seemed to come so easily to Beastboy.  
  
The kid's eyes were as wide as his smile. "You're my favorite! Mom said to ask you for an autograph, so here!" He handed the small notepad to Beastboy, who grinned and flipped it open. The child handed him a pen as well, and Beastboy signed the paper with a flourish.  
  
Raven looked at Beastboy changed into a dog, running around the store for a moment with the small child, and she smiled. It seemed that playing with the boy had made Beastboy forget his sorrows for a while. The boy's mother was awkwardly patting Beastboy's head, obviously unsure of how to treat a green dog that was also a human. The little boy had already handed his mom the notebook, and was simply grinning as Beastboy changed back into a human, talking and laughing with his mother.  
  
Raven selected a few vegetables and fruits, including a few mangoes for Starfire. Starfire had recently fallen in love with tropical fruit, and had been preparing it as often as possible. She looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Beastboy.  
  
"Sorry about that, he wanted an autograph and for me to meet his mom." Beastboy grinned at the empath. She nodded, her face once again expressionless.  
  
"You are very good with children. I'm impressed." She turned, walking towards the dairy section. She didn't know why she was complimenting Beastboy, but she just needed something to talk about. She still wasn't used to being alone with him.  
  
He looked at her strangely. "I am? I just talk to them like anyone else."  
  
Raven nodded, face still deadpan. "I can't deal with kids. They tend to shy away from me anyway."  
  
Beastboy grinned. "It's 'cause you're scary. Take off the cloak and smile more, kids like that stuff."  
  
Raven put a gallon of milk and a few pounds of cheese into the cart, then kept moving down the aisle, looking for more items from the list. Beastboy followed along, as they shopped in relative silence.  
  
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Beastboy pushed the cart into the cart return, after they'd finished loading all the groceries into the trunk and back seats of the T-Car. Raven once again took the driver's seat, and Beastboy got back to the car a few moments later, getting in on the passenger's seat. Raven started the car, and began driving back towards the Tower.  
  
Beastboy sighed, looking out the window as they passed a closed street, with a large boulder sitting in the middle of it. Raven felt the change in emotional atmosphere, and sighed as well. "You're thinking about her again."  
  
Beastboy looked at Raven. "Yeah, there's just too many things around the city to remind me. Still, it's easier now that I have someone to talk to."  
  
Raven stared forward, her face still expressionless. Inwardly, however, she felt warm. Hearing that she was making it easier on him made her feel happy inside, though she didn't allow herself to feel it much before suppressing it came almost instinctually.  
  
"I'm glad I could help." Raven was terse, but not hostile.  
  
"What do you think of her? I mean, I know you hated her when we first found out she was working with Slade, but what about now, after what she did?" Beastboy was staring at the ceiling of the T-Car, seemingly worried about Raven's response.  
  
Raven was also worried about her response. She didn't want to be cruel, but she honestly still hated Terra. There was no room in Raven's heart for traitors, and Terra's last-minute conversion hadn't moved her towards friendship. Raven suddenly realized that she had hesitated too long.  
  
"I don't hate her, but I could never trust her again, Beastboy. She not only betrayed us, but she then betrayed Slade. There is no loyalty to her at all." Raven tried to stare forward, afraid that she had offended Beastboy. She didn't know why she suddenly needed his approval, but for some reason she actually feared that he'd be angry. She didn't sense any anger from him, however. She glanced over at him, and he was simply staring out the window again.  
  
"Yeah. I guess I know what you mean. I'm not sure what I think about her. I'm..." Beastboy's voice faltered.  
  
"I'm not even sure I loved her."  
  
Raven smiled, despite the seriousness of the situation. He'd finally realized that she wasn't anything but a crush. She fought the smile, finally regaining her normal monotone and deadpan face. "She was a crush, though she was your first crush. You'll find someone else to love eventually."  
  
Beastboy looked at her incredulously. "She was not my first crush, just the first one to notice. Did you honestly not know that I had a crush before her?"  
  
Raven looked at him briefly, then back to the road as she entered the tunnel to Titan's Tower. "No. Who else would you have a crush on? Starfire?"  
  
Beastboy laughed. He looked back at Raven, smiling. "Geez, for an empath you sure are out of it. Don't worry about it, Raven, the crush wouldn't have worked out. She didn't like me much."  
  
Raven sighed, still not sure of what he meant, but not going to probe for it. They were back at the garage anyway. They got out of the car, and Raven levitated the entire bunch of groceries, concentrating hard as she moved them into the elevator. She and Beastboy squeezed into the elevator as well, and it began it's long trip to the top of the tower.  
  
They were silent as the elevator rose, Beastboy was still grinning, probably about whoever his previous crush was, and Raven was still irritated by his playfulness. For some reason, learning that he had a previous crush made his grieving over Terra seem less legitimate, and it annoyed Raven.  
  
The elevator stopped, and they were greeted by the sweaty but smiling faces of their friends, all sitting in the common room resting from the apparently exhaustive training. Raven moved the groceries to the kitchen area, then spoke out with an irritated voice. "Beastboy and I bought them, so the three of you should put them away. I'll be in my room."  
  
The Titans grinned at their irritable teammate, happy that she was still the same Raven, despite Terra's betrayal. Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire began to put the groceries in the proper places, their previous exhaustion forgotten. Beastboy followed Raven out of the common room and down the hallway.  
  
"Raven, wait up a second! Don't storm off all mad." Beastboy's voice made Raven stop, her anger fading despite herself. She waited for him to catch up, then continued walking, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say.  
  
"C'mon, I was just joking around in the car, you don't have to be all mad at me." Beastboy sounded almost hurt. As much as Raven wanted to keep up her cold front, she couldn't take his voice sounding like that.  
  
"I'm not mad. It just seemed like you were focusing on Terra so much because you hadn't been attracted to a girl before her. You don't talk to anyone besides Starfire and I." Raven stood at her door, not entering until Beastboy was finished talking to her. The green boy stood in front of her, grinning, but still looking nervous.  
  
"Try to guess then. It was a superhero, I'll give you that." Beastboy was still grinning.  
  
Raven thought back, to the last meeting with Justice League. Wondergirl had been there, as had Arrowette. Both were blonde, which would explain Beastboy's immediate crush on Terra, but he had hardly spoken to them. Raven shrugged. "I don't know. Wondergirl?"  
  
Beastboy made a face. "What? I hardly even spoke to her. I know what you're thinking. It wasn't Cissie either."  
  
Raven rolled her eyes. "Starfire? I don't know, Beastboy."  
  
"I'll give you one last hint. It was a Titan, and it wasn't Starfire."  
  
Raven's eyes widened. He couldn't mean....  
  
Beastboy smiled at her, though he radiated nervousness. Raven stammered, unsure of what to say.  
  
.................................................................  
  
A/N: Woo, I left the chapter ending at an awkward moment. Beastboy had one of those moments when you have a sudden burst of confidence that leaves you feeling stupid afterwards. I like to put superheroes in common situations, like a trip to the supermarket. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you tomorrow! 


	3. Mango Soup

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.  
  
Review Response:  
  
I'm going to respond to reviews in general now, as a page of review responses looks bad. Thanks to all of you who like the fic so far, I'm glad I can write well enough that everyone seems to like it. Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I wanted to have one there for dramatic spice. Christina, glad you think Raven stayed in character with regards to how she felt about Terra. I try to keep everyone acting correctly. The Big Fisch and HappyRaven, I liked the grocery store scene as well, common situations are where superheroes are most out of place, and it's a nice plot device. Regrem Erutaerc, don't worry about the climax happening right away. It's a bit off. Anyway, on to the story.

* * *

An Empath's Burden

* * *

"I'll give you one last hint. It was a Titan, and it wasn't Starfire."  
  
Raven's eyes widened. He couldn't mean....  
  
Beastboy smiled at her, though he radiated nervousness. Raven stammered, unsure of what to say.  
  
Raven's mind was a tornado of thoughts. He'd liked her? How could she have not noticed? She remembered that he was always nervous around her, and he tried too hard to make jokes sometimes... but that was because her powers were strange, he was afraid of her. Wasn't it? There's no way he could have a crush on her, no one could have a crush on her, she was a half-demon for Azar's sake! She tried to speak, but her mouth wasn't working right.  
  
"Beast... Beastboy, you liked... I didn't know." Raven was surprised by her stammering. She was never so unsure of herself, it was a strange feeling.  
  
The boy in front of her laughed nervously, and she sensed that he suddenly regretted telling her. He grinned, turning his head and looking at her sideways. "I... Yeah, I had a crush on... I had that crush before Terra. So yeah, she wasn't my first crush or anything."  
  
Raven cleared her throat, focusing on putting her normal expressionless mask back on. She was only partially successful, her face still wore a look of surprise and confusion. "Beastboy... I'm not sure that-"  
  
"FRIENDS! You have bought mangoes from the store! Many thanks! I had forgotten to put them on my list of shopping!" Both teenagers jumped as Starfire's bright and cheery voice rang out loudly in the quiet corridor. Raven turned towards her, angry at having been interrupted. Beastboy seemed happy, as if she served as a much needed diversion from the accidental confession. Starfire floated down the hallway to them, smiling brightly.  
  
"Glad you like them, Star! But it was Raven's idea, I was too busy signing autographs." Beastboy smiled wide at the alien, putting his hands on his hips proudly, as if the one autograph had proven him a star.  
  
Raven's eyes looked away from Starfire's. "I remembered that you enjoyed them."  
  
Starfire lightly hugged Raven, much to her chagrin. She pulled away quickly, knowing that Raven didn't like hugs, but unable to help at small one. She smiled at the two teens, who still looked a little awkard. "Tell me, what were you two talking of? You seem embarassed!"  
  
"Oh, I just... uh... nothing Starfire." Beastboy laughed nervously, looking to Raven for support.  
  
"We were just talking about Beastboy's feelings." Raven wasn't directly lying, but knew Starfire would interpret it as a conversation about Terra.  
  
"Beastboy, she is gone. You must understand that she may not be coming back." Starfire looked at Beastboy with sadness in her eyes.  
  
Beastboy nodded. "I know Starfire. But what Raven meant when she said-"  
  
"Some thing are better left unsaid, Beastboy. Many things are better left unsaid." Raven stepped backwards through her now-open door, and watched Beastboy's face as the door closed. She winced from his nearly painful regret and embarassment, but the feeling faded as Starfire offered to help him cook dinner. Raven heard him accept the help, and felt his feelings fade as he pushed them away, trying to look happy for Starfire. She turned, pressing the door lock and leaning her back against it, sliding along the door until she sat on the floor, her cloak underneath her.  
  
"He had a crush on me? Why? What could he possibly see in me?" Raven stood, walking to the small desk and vanity she had. She ignored her meditative mirror for the moment, instead looking into the nonmagical one on her wall. She seemed so... plain. Short, purple hair, with no real styling to it. Grey skin, very non-human. Purple eyes... well, she'd always thought her eyes were pretty. She stood back from the mirror slightly, looking over her upper body, turning slightly to see her figure. She certainly wasn't unattractive, but she wasn't model material either. She sighed, feeling stupid for admiring her own body, and sat down on her bed, chin in her hands, staring forward in the dark room.  
  
Beastboy didn't say that he liked her now. He had only said that he had entertained a crush on her before Terra had entered the picture. They had known Terra for nearly six months, though for only a month and a half of that had she been living in the Tower. Perhaps she had been a little cold, she could have waited to tell him that she wasn't interested. The look of defeat on his face when she had told him that it would have been better left unsaid... It pained her.  
  
She sighed heavily. Why did it bother her so much that he was hurting? Granted, she could feel his pain through her powers, but he wasn't hurting at the moment, and so that shouldn't be it. Also, he was a friend, but she shouldn't feel so bad for rejecting him, it was the best thing to do. She couldn't date anyone, her abilities would never allow it. She'd accidentally kill the person long before it could blossom into anything more than light affection, if the stories about what love felt like were true. She rolled her eyes. Of course they were true, she'd been around people in love before, she knew exactly how it felt.  
  
She closed her eyes, and saw Beastboy's face once again. The same look of pain and regret as he'd worn when she spoke last at her door. Raven opened her eyes again, angry at herself for hurting him, and still curious as to why it mattered. He'd be over it pretty quick, Beastboy always bounced back quickly.  
  
Raven pulled her legs up, sitting once more in a lotus position on her bed, then began to levitate lightly. She focused, finding her calm center, burying her confusion and regret under her shell, safely far from the surface.

* * *

Raven was reading the book of Azar once again, rehashing a chapter on the more advacned meditation techniques. It seemed that the book changed whenever she reread it, so she made a point to look again at sections that had escaped her before. She was only vaguely aware of the people in the tower. Starfire was feeling cheery and experimental, no doubt cooking. Beastboy and Cyborg seemed to be overexcited and anxious, probably playing videogames. Robin was focused and intense, apparently training.  
  
Raven put down the book of Azar, shaking her head. The meditation had helped, but hadn't pushed Beastboy from her mind completely. She still felt bad about rejecting him, even though she really had no choice. Even ignoring the fact that her powers would go haywire if she dated someone, she had never wanted to date Beastboy.  
  
He was a good person, sure, and she did enjoy his enthusiasm, but she'd never considered dating him. He was too active, he tried to hard with his jokes, and he was far too excitable for her tastes. She sighed, standing up and walking towards her door. It was nearly time for dinner, so she felt she might as well join the group. The door opened and she jumped, seeing Beastboy standing right in front of her. He grinned.  
  
"Uh.. Guess you were thinking the same thing. Dinner's ready." He pointed his thumb towards the common room.  
  
Raven composed herself. "I thought you were playing videogames."  
  
Beastboy raised an eyebrow. "I was, but Star said that dinner was ready, so I figured I'd come get you. Are you ok?"  
  
Raven nodded slowly, trying to figure out why she was so nervous. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Thank you for retrieving me. Let's go." Raven began walking down the hall to the common room, Beastboy next to her.  
  
A few seconds passed. Raven spoke up. "Beastboy... I'm sorry about what I said earlier."  
  
He shook his head. "No no no. You were being honest, it's fine. I can take it."  
  
Raven didn't say anything, she couldn't think of the right words.  
  
"Besides, like I said, it was before Terra." Beastboy grinned, putting his hands behind his head and walking forward, looking at the ceiling.  
  
Raven suddenly felt almost ill. He was right, he'd said he liked her before Terra. She'd thought about that before, but still it had seemed like he still had a crush on her. Raven didn't understand why she felt so... depressed all the sudden. She pushed it out of her mind as best she could, adn stopped in front of the common room door. She reached out to press the button to open it, but Beastboy hit it first.  
  
"Gotta open the door for the lady." He grinned as she walked through the door.  
  
Raven watched as everyone sat around the table. Starfire hadn't been cooking, not exactly. She had simply cut the mangoes into small peices, then soaked them in milk, presumably imitating peaches and cream. Beastboy had apparently gotten out of food preperation for the moment. Robin came into the room a moment after the table had been set, having responded to Starfire's message on his communicator.  
  
Raven watched as Starfire floated over to Robin, excitedly telling him of her food. Robin was sweating heavily, and quite tired, but he still responded to her with optimism and sincere hope that the food would be better than her normal attempts. Raven could feel the love... no, not love. Perhaps affection was the better word for what the two Titans shared.  
  
Raven looked away from them, poking at the strange fruit and milk soup with her spoon. She felt someone staring at her, and looking up, she saw Beastboy grinning from the other side of the table.  
  
"Don't just play with it, it's actually pretty good!" He was trying too hard to cover up what had been said, to repair the awkwardness that lingered between them. She looked back at the food, then took a spoonfull of chopped mango and milk, tasting it experimentally.  
  
Not bad. Not great, but not bad. A little too sweet for her taste. She could eat it though. She began absentmindedly eating, only present physically. Her mind was still running over the weirdness that her friendship with Beastboy had recently gone through. They had been distant friends before, teammates. She had offered to console him, and she felt that they had gotten a little closer. Close enough, apparently, that he had been willing to tell her of his old crush for her. Then, everything had fallen apart. She didn't know how to act around him anymore, she was afraid that if she did one thing, she'd be leading him to think she liked him back, but if she did another thing, she'd be hurting him. She sighed deeply, looking down into her empty bowl of mango soup.  
  
Raven jumped a little when she felt hands on her shoulders. Starfire leaned over her, smiling. "You have eaten a dish that I have cooked! This is the first time you have done so! You thought it was perhaps good?"  
  
Raven shrugged, her face once again blank. "It was fine. A little too sweet for my taste, but overall it was fine."  
  
Starfire smiled. "It is good to try things that seem to be 'not your taste'. It often leads to surprises!"  
  
Raven raised an eyebrow, watching as Starfire floated over to the kitchen, taking Raven's bowl and spoon, and washing them happily. Everyone else had been talking at eating, having a normal dinner, ignoring her quiet solitude. There was nothing uncommon about her being quiet. She stood, and began walking towards the door out of the common room. She stopped when she heard a voice.  
  
"Hey! Raven, don't forget, tonight's movie night! Everyone's got to be here!" She turned to see Beastboy still grinning like an idiot. She sighed, turning back towards the door.  
  
"Come get me when it's time." She walked through the door, hearing it hiss shut behind her. She walked down the hallway, thinking. Something was nagging her, tugging at her mind. She couldn't think what it could be, however. She smiled slightly, thinking of Beastboy. He was being very nice to her, not pulling too many jokes, not harassing her as much as normal. He was still trying too hard, but at least it was trying too hard to avoid harassing her, than trying too hard to make her laugh. Her smile faded. No matter how nice he was, he still was too random and goofy for her tastes.  
  
"It is good to try things that seem to be 'not your taste'. It often leads to surprises!"  
  
Starfire's words came back to her head. That's what had been bothering her. Dating Beastboy was something she wouldn't normally consider, but perhaps it was similar to Starfire's mango soup. Not perfect, but still good. She'd never find a perfect person, but honestly, Beastboy wasn't that bad a choice.  
  
She stopped at her door, sighed, and opened it. She shouldn't simply settle for someone, though, it wasn't right to date Beastboy jsut because he was not that bad a choice. She walked over to her bed, and laid down, suddenly feeling tired from all the strange emotions. She forgot about movie night, instead deciding to lay down and go to sleep right now. She drifted away quickly, her mind still running in circles about Beastboy.

* * *

A/N: Raven is all unsure of her ability to date people, and unsure of her now-strained friendship with Beastboy. Not all that much happened this chapter, but not every chapter can be a huge revelation. Next chapter might be a day or two, because I have to move back up to college, and that takes most of the day. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and review happily! 


	4. Rejections and Emotions

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Change-Of-Heart: Oh, Moving back was fun. They didn't have my room key ready when I got here, so that was great. Glad you enjoyed the chapter.  
  
The Big Fisch: Yep, Raven didn't blow anything up. I'm sure it will happen eventually. Heh.  
  
Mango Sam: Mangos are good food. Glad you like the story.  
  
Nagaina: Keeping everyone in character is really important to me. Glad you think I'm doing it well.  
  
MOOGoestheCHICKEN: Always nice when people review happily! No fluff this chapter though, sorry. Hope you enjoy it anyway.  
  
Apatha2: Always good to have someone like the style and plot. Thanks!  
  
Christina: Yep, I thought Mango Soup sounded goodish too, but I haven't tried it. I like Star's advice as well, though I'm really bad at following it.  
  
Slayerfirl1362: As you can see, I've gone back to answering all the reviews, but I'm being rather terse about it. Your review was one of the longest I've recieved as well! Anyway, glad you liked the chapter and the story so far!  
  
Cradlerobber Speedo-kun: Glad you like it!  
  
RegremErutaerc: Glad you liked the chapter. Raven's mirror is a cliché, but it's a good plot device anyway.  
  
Ami Ne: Yep, sudden changes are a little jarring sometimes, though they do happen. Glad you like it.  
  
Scorpio Serpent: Characterization is important, so I'm glad I'm keeping them done right. Thanks for favoriting the story, it's always nice to know people are reading.  
  
Strife: I think Starfire would be good at giving accidental advice. Glad you like my romance fic, hope it stays good!  
  
Carrot The LuvMachine: Glad you love it so much! Hopefully you aren't quite as empathic as Raven, but it's good to be falling in love, so good luck to you.  
  
Mint Dragon: Thanks! Glad you enjoy it.  
  
Jakked-Up: A billion welcomes, I enjoy writing, and it's good that you enjoy reading.  
  
jezzjamer: Wow, that's quite a status. Glad you liked it so much!  
  
A/N: The reason that this chapter is so late is threefold. One, I moved back to school, and have been rather busy. Two, The school has implemented a new security system, and Windows 98 computers arent' compatible, so I have no internet access. Three, my IDE bus failed, and so I have no computer to speak of. Chapters may not be daily, but they will be forthcoming, as I still have an old 150 MHz Laptop to scrawl out a chapter, and a public computer to read reviews and respond on. Anyway, sorry for the break of my 1/day policy.  
  
Secondly, The review responses took up less space than I thought, so I'll continue like that unless I end up getting fifty reviews for one chapter, or something like that. Thanks for reading, and on to the story.

* * *

An Empath's Burden

* * *

Raven's eyes snapped open as a knock came at her door. She stood, walking over to the door, though it seemed so far away. She was still walking towards it when it opened. Beastboy was standing there, smiling brightly at her. Raven smiled back.  
  
"Raven, It was a Titan, but it wasn't Starfire." Beastboy continued smiling.  
  
Raven nodded to him. "It was me? I didn't know that you'd liked me." She felt strange, and she was still walking towards the door. Why was it so far away?  
  
Beastboy's smile changed somehow, it wasn't cute anymore, it was... malicious. Raven couldn't stop moving towards the door, it was getting closer. She reached out to him. "Beastboy, I can't get to the door.... help me..."  
  
His voice was deeper, his adolescent voice cracking gone. "I will help you. Just give in and love me."  
  
The floor was moving, something was happening, but her mind wouldn't focus. "Help me... I can't... Beastboy, I can't get there!"  
  
He reached his hand out to her, but he was so far away... She reached out too, but it was too far... "Just give in and love me. Let it consume you."  
  
His voice was familiar, but it wasn't Beastboy's. She couldn't place it, her mind was so disconnected. She felt herself slipping, the floor was giving way. She had to love him, it was the only way. She had to let the emotion free.  
  
"I... I love you, Beastboy. I love you!" She felt the emotion build inside her, she felt the love flowing through her body. Her vision went white.  
  
She was standing at the doorway now. Beastboy was smiling at her, his grin still full of malice. His eyes weren't green, they were... red. But still, he was Beastboy. She loved Beastboy. She hugged him, felt his arms around her. Too muscular, and his grip was hot. It was burning her.  
  
"Beastboy... Beastboy, something is wrong. Why are you so hot?" She pulled away, but couldn't get free of his grip. She didn't want to be free. She loved him.  
  
He leaned in, his new red eyes glowing slightly. She closed her eyes, losing herself in his kiss. There was still something wrong. His teeth were too sharp, his lips strange. His grip still hurt her. It wasn't Beastboy. It wasn't Beastboy.  
  
It wasn't Beastboy!  
  
She pulled away roughly, but was still held tight. She opened her eyes, and peered into the four glowing eyes of Trigon. He was hurting her. She couldn't get free. What was happening? "Beastboy! Beastboy help me!" She struggled, panicking as Trigon held her fast. She felt his influence spread across her. Trigon spoke, his voice deep, gravelly.  
  
"Let it consume you. Fear, Joy, Love, Hate, I will use them all against you."  
  
Her vision was turning red. No... No, she had to control it. She had to get the control back! She focused, trying to clear her twisting, failing mind. Her vision filled with crimson as her mind finally succumbed...

* * *

Raven sat bolt upright in bed, panting in exhaustion. Her body ached, her mind reeled from the demonic dream. Trigon. He'd been watching. He was always watching. How could she have forgotten? She couldn't allow herself to feel anything, love included. She couldn't date Beastboy. Even if he wasn't that bad a choice, she couldn't date him.  
  
She stood shakily, still physically drained from the dream. Her room was pitch black. What time was it? She looked around, but the red lights of her alarm clock were not visible anywhere. She took a step forward, and felt glass crunch under her shoes. The dream had activated her powers. She concentrated for a moment, and the blinds on the window fell to the floor, torn down by her telekinesis. The faint light from the city's skyline was enough to see the remnants of her room.  
  
The room was destroyed. It hadn't looked so bad since Slade's robots had attacked. The shelves, where her statuettes and books rested, were torn apart, the wooden boards torn so hard from each side that the wood had ripped across the grain. The books were all burned, ripped, or shredded. The stone and ceramic statuettes had all shattered, there were shards of glass, ceramic, and marble all over the floor. Her wall mirror had shattered, casting a strange, fragmented image of herself back at her. On the floor, near the broken desk, lay the one undamaged piece in the room, the meditation mirror.  
  
Raven stepped over towards the mirror, deftly avoiding the glass and debris on the floor. She picked it up, looking it over. No damage whatsoever. A reflection in the mirror caught her eye, and she turned to see the Book of Azar laying on the torn bedsheets, untouched as well. She lay the mirror on top of the book, then stepped cautiously towards the door. She had trouble finding clean carpeting to step on, but eventually found her way to the door. She reached out for the control mechanism, then jumped as a knock rang out.  
  
She froze. She didn't want anyone to see. The knock repeated. "Raven? Are you in there? It's movie night, and no one wants to watch. C'mon, watch something with me! I'm bored."  
  
Beastboy. She couldn't let him see this, he'd never trust her again. He'd back away, run, just like everyone who knew how powerful her powers could be when she didn't control them. He'd never speak to her the same way again.  
  
Raven's eyes widened. That was it! If she couldn't reject Beastboy because of the pain it would cause him, and therefore herself, then he would have to reject her. If he rejected her, then he wouldn't hurt so bad, and she could just bury her own feelings through meditation. It was the only choice. She pressed the door opening switch.  
  
Beastboy grinned at her. "So, you'd like to... Raven, what happened?" His grin had faded, as he saw her decimated room. He stepped forward, past her, staring at the abject destruction. Raven watched him, sadness wrenching her heart for some reason. She couldn't place why, it was the only logical choice. He had to see it, and then he had to hate her. It was the only logical choice.  
  
"Raven, are you ok?" Beastboy's voice was full of worry.  
  
Raven turned away, suddenly unable to face him. "I'm never ok."  
  
She felt his hands on her shoulders, reassuring her. "Hey, c'mon, this is serious. What happened?"  
  
Raven turned towards him, but still looked at the ground. "You happened."  
  
She suddenly covered her mouth, staring at Beastboy with fear. Why had she said that? What did she mean by that? He hadn't done anything wrong, she was the problem. She was always the problem. She could feel his hurt and confusion as he looked at her.  
  
"I happened? What do you mean?" His voice was quiet, sad. She hated it.  
  
"Nevermind. You said it was movie night, so let's go watch something." She pulled away, his hands falling off her shoulders and to his sides. She walked to the door, but Beastboy hadn't moved.  
  
"No, don't change the subject. What did I do to cause all this?" Beastboy stepped forward cautiously. She couldn't take his confusion and regret any more. It hurt her.  
  
"You... You confessed that crush on me. You made me think of dating you. You made my father think of my dating you." Raven pulled her hood up over her head, turning slightly so she couldn't see his eyes.  
  
She could feel his regret, his surprise, and his hope flare at once. "YOU thought about dating ME? That could never happen. You don't even like me!"  
  
Raven still looked away, afraid to meet his eyes. "I didn't like you. Didn't."  
  
She sensed the shock move through him. She winced, hating herself for admitting to it. She hadn't even admitted to herself that she liked him, and now she was telling him, as if that would help anything.  
  
"You... didn't? Past tense?" Beastboy's voice was full of disbelief. Raven steadied herself. He knew now. She had to accept it, that she liked someone, and that the someone she liked was Beastboy.  
  
"Past tense. I didn't realize it, until now. I'm sorry, Beastboy." She was hurting inside. She had just admitted to something that she shouldn't have. She couldn't pursue him, she couldn't do anything with the feelings she'd confessed to. It would have been better if she hadn't said it.  
  
"Sorry? Why are you sorry? It's wierd that you like me, but seriously, I don't mind!" Beastboy was smiling at her. She didn't look at him, but she could feel it.  
  
"Look at my room, Beastboy. This is the cost of just thinking about dating you. He... Trigon, my father, he knows about you. He can use any emotion to control me. I can't let myself feel anything at all." Her voice was calm and even, but her mind was turning, twisting, contorting to fight the emotions running through it. Regret, self-pity, anger, disappointment, and affection.  
  
She felt his hands on her shoulders again, he was trying to help calm her, but it wasn't working. She was glad she wasn't facing him. If she had been facing him, her emotions might have beaten her. For the moment, however, she was slowly gaining control.  
  
"Raven, I never thought I'd be rejecting you, but I can't date you right now. Terra... Terra is still in my head, and I can't just forget about her. Whatever I felt for her, it's still there. I can't just ignore it."  
  
Raven felt ill. It felt like he'd just torn her soul out. Her shoulders shook slightly, as she tried to fight the sobs coming from inside her. Why was this affecting her so much? Why did he mean so much to her all of the sudden? She squeezed her eyes closed, focusing her emotions into her core, trying to shut them out. It was working. She couldn't be happy, but not feeling anything was better than pain.  
  
"It's ok, Beastboy." Her voice surprised her. It was cold, even, unfeeling. She expected it to be a little different now, for some reason. She had just been rejected, and now she felt nothing at all.  
  
Beastboy's voice was uncertain. "Are you sure?"  
  
Raven didn't answer, instead just turning, and staring at him, with dead, cold eyes. She was herself again.  
  
Beastboy took a deep, uncertain breath. "Uh... not that the mood it right for a movie, but Robin is training, Starfire is watching him, and Cyborg is working on his car. Want to go watch one with me?"  
  
Raven's voice was still dead, her eyes were still cold, piercing through the boy in front of her. "No. I need to meditate, and you need to leave. You are in my room, no one comes into my room."  
  
Beastboy's eyebrows furrowed, he was obviously unhappy with the sudden change. He sighed, however, not wanting to start an argument. He walked to the door, opened it, and stepped through. He threw a concerned, worried look at Raven, as the door shut before him.  
  
Raven felt nothing as her erstwhile crush disappeared through the door. Her powers instinctively reached out, pressing the door lock button, and securing her privacy. She floated gently, hovering over the glass-covered carpet, and then hovering lightly over her bed, in the lotus position. She raised her arms, her index fingers pressed against her thumbs, her mind focused.  
  
She repeated her mantra soullessly, emotionlessly. It was the only way she could live. She had to meditate, she had to suppress her emtions. She couldn't slip in guardianship of her own mind, for even a second's lapse could cause Trigon to manifest in this world, through her.  
  
However, in the back of her mind, the core of her being, and the very center of her soul, there was still a lingering spark. She could suppress the emotion, but it was still there. She couldn't remove her recently found feelings for him, even though she had been rejected. She sighed. She would have to remove it. It was her duty to herself, and to humanity. She focused once more, her mind image surrounding her, as she chanted her chant.

* * *

Raven meditated for hours, trying to extinguish the emotion, trying to destroy her feelings. It wasn't working. The Book of Azar taught that no emotion could be completely eradicated, only suppressed until it was no longer felt. She allowed herself to stop meditating, allowing her mind to fade around her, until she was once again sitting on her bed, facing out her window, into the dark night.  
  
She saw a gleam on her bedsheet, and she looked towards it. The mirror. Emotions. She despised the emotions, as much as she could despise anything with her current calm and repressed mind. She reached for the mirror, focusing her mind on activating it, as her own reflection stared back.  
  
A moment later, she was once again in her own mind. She walked forward, her footsteps loud in the silent void. She looked at the dried and dead trees that lined the path as she walked forward, and she looked at the burning red eyes of the thousands of ravens that stared at her. They were his creation. Trigon's creation. He had crafted them to mock her Raven persona. She looked back to the trail, continuing along it.  
  
The broken line of dead trees became a forest as she kept walking. Her mind was silent, calm. Her meditation and suppression had been quite effective, and she no longer needed to worry about danger here. The forest was dark, and she couldn't see past all the trees, but the path continued, and she continued walking. Her mind always set it's own path for her, and she could do nothing but follow it.  
  
The world changed as she walked, instantly all the trees had leaves, pink leaves. The ground was soft soil, not the hard stone that had previously vexed her feet. Smells of roses, strawberries, and perfume scented the air, as she continued walking, unabated. Of all her emotions, happiness was often the least affected by meditation. She would be calmer than normal, but still far too bubbly for Raven's liking.  
  
Raven stopped walking as she saw the emotion in question poke her head out from behind a tree, smiling at Raven. She stepped out fully, walking towards her owner slowly. She seemed a bit miffed, but Raven had a hard time reading the faces of her own emotions.  
  
"Hi. What's up? You don't normally come in here unless something is going on." Happiness grinned, standing with her hands on her hips in mock suspicion. Raven sighed, annoyed already with having to deal with this facet of herself.  
  
"You know what happened. A dream from him, and a rejection from Beastboy." The name felt strange on her lips, as if she shouldn't be saying it.  
  
Happiness placed her left foot agaisnt her right knee, trying to balance on one leg. "But you still like him. I would know-whoah!"  
  
Raven sighed as the emotion stood back up from falling down. "He doesn't like me, though. You know as well as I do that I was rejected by him."  
  
The pink-clad doppelganger just shrugged. "Just 'cause he can't date you doesn't mean he doesn't like you. I like him anyway, and I know that he's always glad to be around you, that even made him happy when he was with Terra."  
  
A warm, scented breeze blew past, rustling Raven's cloak as she looked around the world. She couldn't make up her mind. She knew that Beastboy still felt for Terra, or at least still felt some loyalty to her. She thought that he may still feel something for herself as well, but she was unsure. She looked back towards Happiness, rolling her eyes as she stood on her hands, walking back and forth unsteadily.  
  
"Anyway Raven, I think you should ask him out! The worst that can happen is a rejection, and at least another one of those would help put him out of your mind." Happiness grinned upside down.  
  
Raven sighed. "I'll think about it. I don't feel anything towards him right now, but perhaps eventually. However, I've spent enough time here."  
  
Raven left the balancing emotion behind her, walking forward along the trail. It wasn't long before everything changed back, spontaneously, to the reddened, inky void. She looked around, strangely calmed by the sight. She continued moving, walking along the cold stone trail.  
  
Beastboy hadn't deserved such a response to his rejection. He had a valid reason for it. Why was she so cold to him? Raven berated herself internally for hurting him again. It had been unnecessary, and even cruel. She could still see his angry features, then his worried concern as he left. She would apologize later.  
  
The world changed again around Raven. She was now standing on a long, straight staircase, going directly up the side of a mountain, surrounded by clouds and cold. She began to ascend the staircase, knowing that Wisdom would only speak to her if she did this properly. She looked around her as she climbed the stairs, breathing deeply of the cold mountain air. This was one of the most pleasing emotional realms to be in. Happiness had scented her realm too much, and it offended Raven's nose. Timidity was the only one who knew the way through her maze, and Raven hated being lost. Bravery was far too martial to be enjoyed, and her island always smelled of perspiration.  
  
She reached the top of the mountain a few minutes later, quite out of breath from the stairs. Looking across the flattened summit, she saw a brown-cloaked figure levitating gently in the exact center of the mountain. Raven walked towards the emotion.  
  
Wisdom opened her eyes as Raven approached, nodding to her knowingly. "You come seeking advice on Beastboy, no doubt."  
  
Raven hovered in front of Wisdom, in the same lotus position. "Yes. He is disrupting my meditation, and causing me to lose control of my powers."  
  
The cloaked figure hung her head, thinking for a moment. "You expect me to advise against dating him, to tell you to stay away."  
  
"I expect that you will give good advice. Your advice has never failed me before."  
  
Wisdom reached up, and pulled down her hood. This was the first time Raven had ever seen her do this. Of course, she looked exactly like Raven, but it was the symbolic importance that surprised Raven. Wisdom spoke. "I agree with Happiness. You should give him another chance."  
  
Raven was surprised at Wisdom's advice. She never agreed with Happiness. "You think I should give him another chance? Why?"  
  
Wisdom's eyes stared into her, with that same old piercing gaze that she often gave the other Titans. "Because you need him. You need someone to latch on to in times of stress. However, you will need to be there for him as well, in the case that he needs to speak. You cannot usher him out of your room like you did earlier."  
  
Raven looked away, remaining silent. It had been a cruel thing to do, but she had been angry.  
  
"Also, you must tell him. You must tell him that you may never feel as strongly for him as he does for you, simply due to your heritage. Only once he understands that, can your relationship begin in earnest."  
  
Raven sighed, moving her legs down and landing on her feet. "Thank you. I'll consider it." Raven walked away from her personality facet, and down the opposing staircase from the one she had climbed. As she walked, she considered. Wisdom was correct, as always. She needed someone to rely on, someone to talk to when things got bad. She needed someone who's voice could calm her when she was losing control. However, she wasn't sure that it was fair to date Beastboy when she could never show him any emotion.  
  
As she stepped off the bottom step, she faced the forbidden door in the distance, it's winged helmet design setting it off from the rest of the world. She was near the exit, it wasn't long before she would be out in the real world again. She stepped forward, then scowled as the maze wall rose in front of her. Raven closed her eyes as the walls rose up around her, knowing there was no way out but through.  
  
She turned, seeing the grey woman before her. Timidity was another irritating emotion to deal with. There was only one way to get her to do what you wanted her to.  
  
"Get me through this maze. Do it now." Raven's voice was harsh, commanding, and cruel. The shy and fearful girl in front of her cowered as she passed by, then began walking through the maze, throwing nervous looks back at the angry Raven. Time passed.  
  
The maze was always long, and Timidity was walking slowly, with a thoughtful expression. She had opened her mouth a few times, as if she was going to speak, but always lost the nerve before saying anything. Raven knew that she'd never talk until she was asked. Finally, they reached the end of the maze, and Timidity stood at the exit, but didn't open it. To Raven's suprise, she spoke.  
  
"What if he rejects us?" The girl's voice was so sad and lonely that Raven almost felt the need to reach out and calm her.  
  
"Then he will reject me. He's already done it once, I can survive it." Raven tried to act confident, despite the contagious nervousness of the emotion.  
  
Timidity looked down at the ground, obviously afraid to speak. "What if he doesn't reject us, and you lose control? Then we will all die."  
  
Raven stepped forward, putting her hand on Timidity's shoulder, and looking into her eyes. She hated that an emotion made her feel bad enough to try to console it, but she couldn't stand to see anyone suffer, not even her own emotions.  
  
"Calm down. We will do what we can. I'll give him another chance. No matter what happens, we'll be fine."  
  
Timidity looked away, tears still in her eyes. Raven sighed, putting her arms around her emotion and hugging her, trying to make her feel a little better. She was normally averse to hugs altogether, but hugging herself was acceptable. A few moments passed, and Raven could feel Timidity calm. She pulled away, and Timidity was smiling, but only slightly.  
  
"Thank you. The door is over there. No one else will bother you." Timidity opened the exit, and Raven walked through, heading for the exit from her mind. She stepped into the forbidden door without any more resistance, and found herself once more in her nearly destroyed room.  
  
Raven sighed deeply, and began using her powers to collect all the shattered and destroyed belongings into a pile. She would compress it using her powers once it was all together, then she would simply move it with her mind down to the dumpster, underneath the tower, for next week's dropoff. For now, however, she enjoyed the calming, menial task of cleaning.  
  
She would give him another chance. One more chance.

* * *

A/N: Sorry to those of you who wanted movie-night fluff, it didn't happen. Raven is too repressed for happiness, or so she likes to think, and so she has to mull over the consequences of every action before taking it. Thank you for reading, despite the two day abscence. I have no idea when internet connectivity will be up again. Thanks also for the reviews, it's really nice to be getting them. See you either tomorrow or in a few days with the next chapter! 


	5. A Shoulder To Cry On

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Scorpio Serpent, Wanda Magick, Cradlerobber Speedo-kun, bam bam, Sabishii Onna no Ko, Pharoh of the Skies, Purplemusicgoddess, ShadowStar21, Jakked-Up: Sorry to address you all at once, but I didn't want a page of 'glad you liked it' repeated. Glad you liked it! I'll try to keep it updated as much as possible, and thanks for reviewing!  
  
Change-of-Heart2: I feel bad for Raven too, she's saddled with powers she can't fully control. Ever wonder why Beastboy had such a crush on Terra?  
  
Christina: The dream sequence was both fun and difficult to write. Dreams don't have to make sense, so it's hard to pull one off correctly. I think it turned out well. Glad you liked the story.  
  
Kat097, UnOrthodox: Glad you like the way I keep everyone in character. It's a difficult task, but very important to me.  
  
Regrem Erutaerc: Another long review from you! Thanks for sending lore towards me, it's good to know when I've screwed up, but I think I can defend my actions at the moment. It's another problem of comic continuity as opposed to animated series. In the comic books, Raven was trained to ignore all emtions, even love, because they could be used by Trigon to manipulate and control her. In the show, he is Rage, Anger, etc. In the comic he could have used her love to manipulate her into doing what he wanted, by threatening Beastboy or some other thing. As for Knowledge, I didn't use Knowledge in this story. I used Wisdom. I decided (with no real clues) that the browncloaked emotion in the back of the pack during "Nevermore" was wisdom, and used her. Knowledge is seperate from Wisdom. Thanks for the review, however, and keep sending possible screwups my way!  
  
Hogwarts-Drama-Queen: It's the Book of Azar. Azar is the high priestess of Azerath, which is where Raven was born and raised.  
  
Happy-Raven: Glad you liked the last two chapters. I like the idea of each emotion having their own little domain that they hang around in. It makes them more powerful without changing their relationship to Raven. Anyhow, you are not a bad reviewer, and please, keep reviewing!  
  
MOOgoestheCHICKEN: Always nice to be the first one to review a review! As for the rhetorical computer question, my elementary school was somewhat moneyless, so we had no computers, and my keyboarding class was taught using life-size photos of keyboards. Yep, we 'typed' on photographs. Yeesh. Hope yours goes better!  
  
K.Ra: Thanks! It's good that you can picture the scenes, means I'm doing a fair job at keeping everything fairly true to the show. I'm trying not to push the romance too quick, but I also don't want to draw it out over 30 chapters or anything, I can't write that many on the same fic. Thanks for reivewing.  
  
The Big Fisch: Raven's dream freaked her out and tore her room up. She is gifted with tremendous power, and cursed with it as well. Poor girl. Glad you like it, here's the next chapter!  
  
A/N: With the last chapter, this story passed "Life of the Titans" and "A Woman Scorned" for number of reviews, with half the chapters of either. Thanks to you all for reviewing, it's very encouraging and helpful to have so much feedback. On to the story now!

* * *

An Empath's Burden

* * *

Raven pressed the door switch and walked out of her room. Her mind was fatigued, moving so many pieces of garbage all the way to the ground from her room took quite a lot of effort. Perhaps Robin was right about needing training. She padded quietly down the hallway, the darkness and silence of the tower calming her, rejuvenating her.  
  
It wasn't long, however, before she was standing at the door to the common room, and hearing the sounds of videogaming inside. She listened for a moment, but heard no taunts, or arguing, and decided that it must be only one player. Not only that, but since Robin was training, and Cyborg was working on the car, it had to be Beastboy. The one person she was hoping to avoid for the moment.  
  
Still, she needed tea to help her relax, and to put her to sleep after the strange events of the day. Perhaps he was still angry at her for forcing him out of her room, and so would not speak to her. She pressed the switch and stepped through the door, and it hissed closed behind her as she walked across the room, towards the kitchen. Beastboy's green hair was visible over the couch cushions, but he didn't move or make any acknowledgement of her prescence.  
  
Raven reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small cup, and a single-serving teabag, noticing that it was the last one. She'd forgotten to pick up tea at the grocery store. How irritating. She placed the cup and teabag onthe counter, then turned on the stove, placing a pot with water there. It would be a few minutes before it was warm enough.  
  
She leaned against the counter, watching with no interest as Beastboy drove around a futuristic racing track on his videogame. He seemed to be doing poorly, as if his mind just wasn't on the game. Raven extended her power, lightly touching his mind, enough to pick up that he was saddened by something, though not enough for her to detect without effort. She sighed slightly, and Beastboy paused the game.  
  
Beastboy turned towards her, a sad look on his normally cheery face. "You're down too?"  
  
Raven nodded slowly, not wanting to lie, but truthfully unsure how she felt underneath all the repression.  
  
He rested his chin on the back of the couch, sighing slightly as well. "Yeah, I know that saying what I said was for the best, but still... feels like I'm losing something, I guess."  
  
Raven didn't move, still just watching him from the darkness of her hood. "You didn't lose a friend, if that was your worry."  
  
Beastboy grinned, despite his sadness that Raven still detected. "Hey, c'mon! If something like that could ruin a long friendship, then I'm not sure we were friends to begin with. I just mean... I don't know. Just feels like something is wrong, when I... rejected you."  
  
Raven turned away, staring at the pot of water on the stove. "But you did reject me."  
  
She could feel Beastboy's regret. Her voice had shown more sadness than she knew she even felt, and it felt like she'd broken his heart by speaking that way.  
  
"Raven, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I don't hate you or anything, it's just that dating someone else so soon after Terra would be like... I don't know, but it's not a good thing to do!" Beastboy stood, and began walking around the couch, towards the kitchen.  
  
Raven continued staring into the water. He was feeling regret, pity, shame, all negative emotions. He wasn't feeling affection at all. She turned towards him as he got closer to the kitchen.  
  
"C'mon, Raven. You know I'm still your friend, and I still want to hang out, right?" Beastboy forced a weak smile, his tooth still sticking out. Raven couldn't help but smile at the sight, and then inwardly admonish herself for feeling.  
  
"Beastboy, I know. I just... I've never thought of anyone this way before. Getting rejected just felt strange. I will be fine in time." Raven's voice was low and even, not showing the strange sadness that she felt inside, as she spoke of the rejection to him.  
  
Beastboy took another few steps towards her standing in front of her with a serious look. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, Raven. You're really important to me."  
  
Raven looked towards him with surprise. Important? "How am I important to you? As a teammate? As a friend?"  
  
Beastboy seemed to be struggling with his wording for a moment, then spoke up, his voice uncertain and wavering. "I... I guess that your opinion really matters to me. Like, your opinion on me, I mean. Robin only talks about training and fighting, and I already know how I am with that. Starfire can't really talk about people as anything but good, she's so trusting. Cy is a friend, but he's also a guy, and we don't talk about how I am. But you..."  
  
A second passed as Beastboy thought.  
  
"You see me as I am. You know how I'm feeling, you know why I do what I do, you are just... I feel like if you think I am a good person, then I really am."  
  
Raven stood silent, shocked. He really cared about her thoughts? No one cared about how she felt. Starfire only cared when it was obvious she was depressed, and had given up too much worry after realized that she almost always looked depressed. Robin, as Beastboy had pointed out, only thought about training and crimefighting, and only thought of everyone else as their ability to fight, with the possible exclusion of Starfire. Cyborg was a nice person, a good friend and a powerful fighter, but Beastboy was right, Cyborg wasn't the type to discuss feelings with him.  
  
"You... You care about my impression of you? I didn't realize it was so important to you."  
  
Beastboy turned away slightly, embarassed to look into her eyes. They both stared at the pot of water for a moment. "Yeah. You're the most honest person here."  
  
Raven fought the regret and anger growing inside her. The anger was at herself, for having been so cold to Beastboy when he'd rejected her. The regret was for the same thing. How could she have been so cruel? She composed herself as best she could, then spoke.  
  
"Beastboy, I'm sorry for getting angry at you. You are still welcome in my room whenever you need to talk."  
  
The green boy grinned, looking at her again. "Thanks! I was afraid that you hated me now or something. The way you sounded when you told me to get out... It was freaky, you know?"  
  
Raven looked at him, still trying to fight the regret inside her. She had meant to suppress her emotions, not deaden them. Her voice had been so cold that it had worried him. She felt like such an awful person.  
  
Beastboy still grinned at her. "It's just... We'd been talking a lot, and I thought we'd been getting closer, but when you said that... It felt like the old days, before Terra, before your mirror... back when you honestly didn't like me at all. It just scared me I guess... Raven? Are you ok?"  
  
Raven felt Beastboy's shock at the tear that betrayed her feelings. She hadn't been able to fight it, and it had escaped her eye, running slowly and clearly down her cheek. She closed her eyes, turning away from him. She felt two more tears escape, running trails down her cheeks and falling from her chin. Her shoulders suddenly shook, as a sob ran through her body. She felt so bad for what she had done, but she shouldn't... she had been angry, why was she so sad?  
  
She tensed slightly as she felt Beastboy's uncertain hands on her waist, gently pulling as if to turn her. She moved, turning to face him, with tears still rolling down her face. The look in his eyes was incredible. He was so concerned, and so worried for her. No one had ever looked at her that way, not even her own mother, back in Azerath. No one in Azerath had been allowed to show any concern or love for her.  
  
She allowed Beastboy to hold her, as he pulled her close to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, as her body continued to be wracked with sobs. She tried vainly to calm herself, feeling her powers breaking through the shell of meditation and focus she had spent most the of the day building. She couldn't calm down, all of her troubles, her entire life's troubles, seemed to be pouring out through her tears and sobs. This was the first time anyone had allowed her to cry with them, or held her like this.  
  
Raven's eyes were squeezed shut and she cried on Beastboy's shoulder, but still she winced when she heard the teacup slide off the counter and shatter on the floor. Her powers were being unleashed, but she couldn't... she couldn't bring herself to let go of Beastboy. She felt him jump as the cupboard door opened and then slammed. Suddenly, she felt him pick her up lightly, and begin carrying her away from the kitchen, towards the door to the hallway.  
  
She couldn't worry about where he was taking her, as the lights in the hallway burst from her power. She still just gripped him, her face buried in his neck, her arms around his body, holding tightly. She felt so secure in his arms, as he carried her down the hall. She heard a door hiss open, and opened her eyes just enough to see the purple and black paint on the walls, it was her room.  
  
She was carried over to her bed, and felt Beastboy sit, allowing his arms to rest and also her to sit on his lap, instead of standing next to him. She was no longer crying, but still fighting to suppress her emotions. Everything was so new. The feeling of security, the feeling of happiness, of freedom, it was all so new. She couldn't let go.  
  
It was only a few minutes, but it seemed to last forever, and yet not long enough. Finally, Raven won the battle against her emotions, forcing them to be calm enough to allow her to speak.  
  
"Thank you, Beastboy. I don't know why I did that." Her voice was calm and even, but still warm and caring, not cold as it had been before.  
  
Beastboy smiled, holding her in his lap, but loosening his arms enough that she could look back at him. "Hey, it's ok. Sometimes everyone needs a shoulder to cry on."  
  
Raven looked around at her empty room, the only objects left were her damaged bed, the Book of Azar, and the mirror. "Why did you bring me here?"  
  
She sensed sudden nervousness from Beastboy, as he realized that bringing a girl to her room could be taken the wrong way. "Um, I guess... I just figured that since you blew up everything in here already, that it was safer here than in the kitchen, with a pot of boiling water right beside us."  
  
Raven's expression didn't change, though she was happy that he had thought to bring her back here. Beastboy was smarter than he let on. She pulled her arms away from his neck, and moved, sitting next to him on the bed, instead of in his lap. Beastboy put his hands on the bed, on either side, not sure what else to do with them. They sat there for a moment, awkward after the sudden show of emotion.  
  
"So... uh... What happens now?" Beastboy spoke first, causing Raven to jump slightly at the broken silence.  
  
"I'm not sure. I feel... lighter now. Is this how other people feel when they cry?" Raven's empathy had never picked up on this feeling. It wasn't an emotion in the true sense of the word, simply the feeling of all her other emotions pouring out, of her mind and soul being clear of all the years of bottled sadness and lonliness.  
  
Beastboy nodded. "Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Wait... You've never cried?"  
  
Raven looked down at the carpet. "I was taught to suppress all my emotions, Beastboy. Arella, my mother, was not even allowed to see me for most of my life. Any emotion I feel can be used against me by Trigon, and if I was allowed to know that others cared for me, then he would have people to threaten. No one has ever told me... that they cared about anything I said or did."  
  
Beastboy's shock and sympathy radiated through her. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, as she felt the information being turned over in his mind. "Your whole life, no one has ever told you that they cared?"  
  
Raven shook her head. She was still staring at the carpet.  
  
She felt his arms move around her again, this time a simple hug. She would normally hate it, but for some reason... it was ok. She hugged him back, awkwardly. Receiving hugs was rare enough, but giving them was unheard of. She almost didn't know how to do it. He released her a moment later. When she looked at him, he was smiling.  
  
"Well, we both have some stuff to work through, right?" His grin was infectious, but her face remained calm. "If you will keep listening to me about Terra, then I'll be here whenever you need me."  
  
Raven smiled, Wisdom's advice running through her head. Someone to lean on when times were bad, and someone to console when they needed her. Someone to actually need her.  
  
"Ok Beastboy. I will keep that in mind. Thank you again, for holding me like that. It was... sweet." Raven tried to fight the creeping blush in her cheeks, but it showed up anyway.  
  
Beastboy smiled, happy that she was happy with him. "No problem. I know after that you probably need to meditate, and it's the middle of the night, so I'm going to go to my room. Will you be ok?"  
  
Raven nodded, the blush fading as she felt more comfortable. "Yes. Go and sleep, I will see you tomorrow."  
  
He seemed to hesitate a moment, as if deciding whether or not to do something. She could feel nervousness from him, but couldn't decipher why. Suddenly, he leaned over and pressed his lips to her cheek, then pulled away, smiling.  
  
"Night Raven." He stood quickly, walking towards the door. He opened it, and stood in the threshold, looking back at the stunned girl.  
  
"Goodnight, Beastboy." Her voice was small and nervous, but something in it warmed his heart. He smiled once more, then left the room.  
  
Raven's fingers crept towards the tingling spot on her cheek, where his lips had touched. Why did it feel so strange? She didn't touch the spot, letting the feeling of his lips remain on her skin. She sighed slightly, happily. Things were strange lately, she had too many unusual emotions to deal with.  
  
She laid down in her bed, trying to ignore the one side that was so badly destroyed. The crying had calmed her, and she was now simply exhausted. Her eyes closed quickly, her mind clam and empty as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

A/N: A shorter chapter than the last one, to be certain, but still nice, I think. Again, I'm taking a page from the comic book here, about Raven's life in Azerath before coming to Earth. The way the show and the comic have different characters makes mixing them difficult, but I like having characters with backstories beyond 'Final Exam' (First Episode). Regardless, Thanks for reading,a nd I hope you enjoyed it. Please review, the next chapter will be up in a day or two, time and internet connectivity providing. 


	6. Final Visit and Final Decision

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
A/N: A few people commented on the lack of damage when Raven was sobbing into Beastboy's shoulder. All that happened was a shattered teacup, a cupboard opening by itself and slamming shut, and the hallway's lights all breaking as they walked by. The thing is, Starfire feels everything to the fullest, and she was panicking completely in "Switched". Raven's powers would have been activated to the fullest amount possible by accident, and did not actually level the city block. Accidental energy releases seemed to simply melt, throw around, or bend random nearby objects or people. I tried to keep this in mind as I wrote the scene. I may have understated it, but doing much more would anger the rest of the Titans, as replacing a one-of-a-kind island and tower is a bit steep of a repair bill.  
  
Change-Of-Heart2: I like Terra a bit, she helped add a bit of seriousness and depth to the second season. Glad you liked the story so much, it's always nice to be able to invoke emotion in others.  
  
ShadowStar21: Glad you liked it!  
  
Mrs. Myxztipik: Glad you liked this chapter, but I hope you liked the others as well. Updating now!  
  
Regrem Erutaerc: Trigon's value in the show is exclusively rage, but he also hates Raven quite a bit, at least the sane, human side of her. So I wanted him to attempt to mess up her relationship with Beastboy. Having someone to confide in does make her calmer, and that would certainly anger Trigon.  
  
MOOgoestheCHICKEN: Glad you liked the chapter. Putting me on the Author Alert list means that you get emails sent to you whenever I write a new story or update an old one. If you want to watch for new chapters without having to look at FFN, then it makes sense to do so.  
  
Mint Dragon: That's quite a compliment! I'm glad you like my style, and I'll keep updating as much as possible.  
  
Christina: I've explained the damage bit in the Author's Note above. Glad you liked the scene though, I liked it as well.  
  
The Big Fisch: Yep, the comics are nice. Once my ethernet connection is fixed, I might be able to get the entire series as one big two gigabyte chunk. I'm just surprised at the number of reviews that this story is getting, with so few chapters and so little development. I'm glad everyone likes it so much.  
  
Supreme Mystic Dragon: Glad you liked the chapter. It's always weird to mention people who are in the comic but not in the show, but I wanted to show how repressed Raven's life had been. Trigon is perhaps overstated in chapter 4, and he's used less in 5 and 6. He was just scaring her, but she is aware that her powers require emotional control. I addressed the damage thing in the author's note, above.  
  
Jakked-up: Glad you love the story! I thought this chapter was cute as well.  
  
Slayergirl1362: No problem, you don't have to review every chapter, I won't be insulted. I like spending time adding detail to Raven's thoughts. She's the only character who's internal monologue is shown in this fic, and so I try to do it well. Glad you like it.  
  
Mango Sam: Glad you loved the fic, and glad you look forward to the next chapter. Here it is!  
  
Pharoh of the Skies: Glad you found my story as well. Hope you like the next chapter!

* * *

An Empath's Burden

* * *

Raven's eyes snapped open as a knock at her door woke her. She then winced as the bright light in her room hurt her eyes. The morning was bright and sunny. She stood up, feeling light and refreshed, the calm and happiness from last night still lingering. She stepped towards the door, and was halfway there before a voice rang out.  
  
"Raven? Are you ok? The lights in the hallway are all broken. Did something hap-" The door slid open at Raven's touch, and revealed Robin standing there, with a look of concern.  
  
"I'm fine, Robin. It was an accident, nothing more." Raven's face wore that look of praticed indifference, and her voice was calm and clear. But still, Robin raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I know that you have trouble with your emotions. By the look of your room, you've had a lot of trouble." Robin was observant, as always. It was a trait that she always admired, and sometimes despised. She didn't want her recent losses of control to come to his attention. Robin had a way of overcompensating for any problem he was faced with.  
  
"It's under control. Your concern is touching, but unneccessary." Raven still stared at him, deadpan, her eyes piercing his soul. She knew that her gaze could unnerve people, so she often glared at anyone that she no longer wished to speak to.  
  
"Well, I'll leave you alone then. Just remember that no matter what it is, the Titans are here to help you. You're a good friend, and an important part of the team. We all care about you." Robin waved, not wanting to irritate Raven by touching her for a handshake, and walked away from the door, heading towards his room.  
  
Raven watched him as he walked away. They all cared about her. She knew this already, it wasn't the same as how Beastboy cared about her. Beastboy. She wondered what he was doing, and her mind instinctively reached out, finding him asleep in his room, dreaming happily. She didn't pry into his dreams, instead just happy that he was still feeling well. She closed the door to her room, then grabbed a towel out of her closet, heading towards the shower.  
  
A few moments later, she was standing in her room, leotard back on, brushing her drying hair. The shower had been refreshing, waking her fully from the night's sleep, and also making her realize how good she felt today. After crying last night, all of her bottled emotions had been emptied, she didn't feel them gnawing at her shell, trying to get out. She didn't even need to meditate this morning, she felt calm without it.  
  
A knock came at her door, and she placed the brush on the Book of Azar, which rested on her bed. There was no shelf space left in the room to keep a brush. It had luckily been in the bathroom when the dream had struck. She opened the door, and Beastboy was there, smiling happily.  
  
"Hi Raven! How'd you sleep?" Beastboy walked into the room, feeling pretty bold since last night's encounter. Raven noted the boldness, happy that he felt so comfortable around her, but also still nervous about getting close to someone. She watched as he crossed the room, then sat down on her bed, for lack of any other place to sit. She walked over as well, sitting next to him on the bed. She reached out with her powers, locking the door.  
  
They both sat there for a few moments. Beastboy was grinning at her, and she was nervously trying to deal with the awkward situation. She had a boy in her room, that she... was attracted to. She phrased things carefully in her mind, trying not to overdo it. He may be attracted to her as well, but she didn't know. He was, however, probably her closest friend on the planet right now, so it seemed like they should be action more naturally than this.  
  
Beastboy's grin didn't fade, however. "You didn't answer. How'd you sleep?"  
  
She looked towards him, unable to help a small smile at his grin. "Very well, actually. Crying was... tiring."  
  
"Robin asked me if I knew anything about the broken lights. I told him no. I think he could tell I was lying, but I'd rather lie to him than tell him what happened, if you didn't want him to know."  
  
Raven nodded slowly. "It's probably best that he not know about it. He asked me as well, I told him it was simply an accident. He told me that I should turn to the Titans if I needed them, that you all cared for me."  
  
Beastboy radiated happiness. "They... we all do. You know that, Raven."  
  
She turned towards him, and placed her hand on top of his. "Bestboy, I need to talk to you about something."  
  
She could feel his nervousness, and a spark of giddiness at her touch. He was also curious, wondering what she was going to say. In the back of his mind, she still sensed... guilt. Presumably over being in a situation like this so soon after Terra.  
  
She still kept her hand on his, feeling like she needed a touch to make what she was going to say sound more sincere, to make it sink in a little more. She closed her fingers around his, and began to speak.  
  
"Beastboy, I need you to stay quiet and not interrupt me, since this is hard to say. I want... I want to date you. It's strange for me to feel attracted to someone, and I'm not sure if I will be able to handle it for long. What I wanted to say was..."  
  
She paused for a moment, trying to compose her words, and her bubbling emotions. A gentle squeeze from Beastboy's hand helped to calm her, and she looked back at him, continuing.  
  
"The problem is... I can't feel emotions too strongly, or I cause destruction. Crying on your shoulder last night only broke a few things, but that was because I'd spent most of the day trying to meditate and get over your previous rejection. If it had happened on a normal day... I'm not sure what would have happened. I guess I'm trying to tell you that if we date... I might not be the most loving girlfriend."  
  
Raven felt strange saying 'girlfriend' in reference to herself. It was hard to say all of that, but she knew she had to, and so she'd simply spoken it without thought and without regret, until she'd finished. Now, she felt awkward and unsure. Beastboy seemed to be thinking deeply, and she still felt his hand holding hers. Far from being calming now, it was causing more emotion. She tried to suppress it, and was making good progress by the time Beastboy spoke.  
  
"Raven... It's... I don't know that I can date you. Terra." Beastboy's voice was full of regret. He sounded almost sad that Terra was causing him to reject her. She could feel a mixture of regret, guilt, and buried happiness in him.  
  
"Terra was a good person, at least towards you, Beastboy. She would want you to move on. We will wait on a decision, perhaps, until tomorrow."  
  
Beastboy looked at her. She felt confusion in him. She decided to explain.  
  
"The one-month anniversary of her death. No one else is likely to do anything special, but you and I should go and see her again. Perhaps... Perhaps another visit will help you decide what you need to do."  
  
Beastboy looked down at the carpet, trying to decide. She felt him turning his options over in his head, she felt hopeful that he would agree to at least give her a chance. It was strange to put the decision so much in someone else's hands, but it took both of them to make a relationship.  
  
Beastboy turned towards her, and grinned an honest grin. "Ok. I think that's a good way to tell if I'm ready. Until then, I guess... I want you to know that I feel the same way. I want to date you too, you're such a nice person, and you care so deeply for everyone here, and I'm just glad you can see me as more than a goofy green guy."  
  
Raven smiled, a true, happy, honest smile. She could feel his happiness at her reaction, and she laid her head on his shoulder once more. She felt happy herself, but it was a guarded happiness, and not powerful enough to release her powers. They sat there like that for a few moments, when yet another knock on the door interrupted their reveries.  
  
"Friend? The lighting tubes in the hallway are broken. Have you become uncalm?"  
  
Beastboy turned towards Raven, grinning stupidly. Raven stood up, still holding Beastboy's hand, and led him towards the door. She let go of his hand, then opened the door, revealing the nearly orange alien girl. Starfire wore a look of quiet concern, then surprise as she saw Beastboy standing in Raven's empty room.  
  
"Tell me, why is your room empty? And why is Beastboy in here as well?" Starfire floated into the room, looking around curiously. Raven sighed as she entered, tired of everyone poking into her room recently.  
  
"It's fine, Starfire. I had a momentary lapse of control last night. It won't happen again." Raven's voice was calm, but she tossed Beastboy a smile, showing that it wasn't only a loss of control. He grinned back.  
  
Starfire smiled at the two people in front of her. "And Beastboy? He is here due to concern as well?"  
  
Beastboy nodded. "Yep, I came by because I care about Raven. She's fine though, so don't worry. In fact, she and I were about to go make breakfast for everyone, right Raven?"  
  
Raven shot him a look of irritation, but followed him as they walked out into the hallway. She watched Beastboy and Starfire walking ahead of her, talking about tofu and breakfast. Starfire was always keenly interested in Earth's flora and fauna, and was drilling Beastboy on soy plants. Beastboy didn't seem to know enough to satisfy her, but Starfire still smiled anyway.  
  
Raven realized that she was lucky to have friends like the Titans. Despite the constant irritation that they all caused, they were here for her when she needed them. It was a nice feeling, realizing that her friends were so important to her. The last few days had opened her mind to a lot of new thoughts and feelings, and she was happy that she and Beastboy had gotten closer.  
  
It was all due to Terra. If it had not been for her, there would have still been nothing to talk to Beastboy about, and they would have never grown close. She owed a lot to that traitor, despite her hatred of her. Terra had caused everyone on the team a lot of pain, but hopefully, in the future, Terra would accidentally bring Raven and Beastboy some happiness.

* * *

The day passed quickly for Raven. Cooking breakfast was oddly fun, working with Beastboy and with tofu to create something at least semi-edible. With Raven helping to cook, Cyborg complained less about the tofu, not wanting to upset her. Everyone seemed to enjoy the meal over all.  
  
After breakfast, Raven retired to her room, meditating more out of habit than necessity. She spent the day reading and relaxing, trying to keep her mind off of Beastboy and their upcoming decision. It wasn't long before it was dinner time.  
  
Dinner was cooked by Robin, who was a mediocre cook in all regards. They had fairly simple spaghetti, nothing special, but not bad either. Everyone talked and laughed as they ate, Raven even smiling at some of the jokes. She felt better recently, as if releasing a little smile or talking a little would not ruin her control. Everything seemed brighter when she allowed just a bit of emotion, and she enjoyed it.  
  
After dinner, she once again went to her room, meditating once more before the night. She was calm, controlled, everything was fine. She laid down to sleep some time later, her anxiousness about tomorrow safely buried deep inside of her.

* * *

Raven woke early the next morning, feeling the same as usual. She quickly got up, took a shower, and got ready for the day. She thought forward to today's visit with Terra. It seemed strange, to visit what amounted to a statue. However, she did realize how important Terra was to Beastboy, and wanted him to be happy to date her, not doing it out of pity.  
  
The knock at her door surprised her, but she didn't show it. She firmly fixed the clasp of her cloak around her neck, then walked towards the door. It opened, showing Beastboy.  
  
"Hey Raven. I figured you'd be up by now. Want to go before Robin tells us to start training or something?" His voice was laden with sadness, and his aura was both sad and nervous. There was a big choice to be made, and neither of them wanted to face that choice just yet.  
  
Raven nodded, her face still empty. She wanted to make sure she didn't influence his decision by physical contact. She simply followed as he led her to the rooftop, then took flight as he changed into a bird and flapped noisily into the morning air. It was cool out, crisp and wonderful as they flew towards the one remaining entrance into the underground lair where Slade had controlled Terra.  
  
They landed near the barred entrance into the cave system. Jump City had paved over the holes in the streets, repaired the holes in floors, and closed the holes in the park. This remote area was the only remaining entrance, and it was covered in heavy steel bars. Beastboy changed into a mouse, scurrying down through the bars, then changing back into a human, descending quickly into the cave. Raven pressed her hands against the metal, then slid through, phasing through the bars easily. The two teenagers walked quietly down into the earth.  
  
It was quite a long way. Their footsteps echoed in the silent cave as they pressed on, the darkness illuminated only by the flashlight Beastboy had brought. The cave floor was mostly even, since it was by no means a natural cave. Finally, they turned a corner, and saw the pit leading towards the inner sanctum. Raven levitated as she floated gently down, and Beastboy changed into a mountain goat, hopping nimbly from rock to rock, eventually meeting her down at the bottom. He changed back into a human.  
  
They stepped past the destroyed steel door, the impressions of a mammoth's tusks still on the side. The second door was still stuck open, and they proceeded into the large chamber beyond. The floor was slick, cooled lava flow. There were pieces of shattered glass and twisted metal strewn about, a testament to the epic battle that had claimed Terra's young life. They stood before the statue, and the flashlight's beams illuminated Terra's features.  
  
They stood, silently staring up at her. It was strange, her angelic stance and calm face, frozen for eternity in stone. The room was cool and dark, all semblance of a volcano long since removed. Raven turned her gaze to Beastboy. He was staringup at the statue, his eyes moist. He seemed to be speaking to himself, or perhaps to her, but his mouth wasn't moving enough for her to read his lips.  
  
She allowed him his privacy, choosing not to encroach on his mind. She closed her eyes, thinking to Terra, not willing to speak.  
  
Terra, If you can hear this, then you are probably wondering why I would visit you. Beastboy... loves you still. He is often affected with sadness and grief over your death, and when he is, I have tried to be there for him. I... wish to be with him now, Terra. Your betrayal and subsequent death have brought Beastboy and I closer, and now I worry that he will never feel comfortable dating me. Please, if it is whithin your power, send some hint that he should let you go, that he should give me a chance. I also must let your memory go. Goodbye, Terra.  
  
Raven opened her eyes, feeling strange about the near-prayer to Terra. She knew about the spirit world, she and Starfire had attempted a few times to contact it. However, she was unaware of Terra's location. She may be dead, she may simply be trapped inside the stone. Still, she prayed, hoping that Terra could hear.  
  
She turned her head, looking once more at Beastboy. He noticed the movement, and looked at her as well. He placed the flashlight on the pedastal in front of Terra, and reached out, taking her hands in his. They stared into eachother's eyes for a moment. Raven could see all of Beastboy's uncertainty and regret in his eyes, but also... he was happy to have found someone to be with. They stood, doing nothing for a few more seconds. Finally, Beastboy spoke.  
  
"Raven, I... I've made a decision." His voice was confident now. The decision had been made, though she couldn't tell what had been decided.  
  
"Yes, Beastboy? What have you decided?" Raven felt her own nervousness boiling inside her, weak enough not to cause a energy release, but strong enough to be discomforting. She still stared into his eyes, awaiting his answer.

* * *

A/N: You'll have to await his answer as well. Raven and Beastboy both have problems to resolve before they can become a couple, but it's getting closer to fruition. I'll update the fic in another day or two, sorry for the slowish updates, but things keep happening around here. Thanks for all the reviews, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you soon! 


	7. Forever Complete

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
The Big Fisch: Glad you think the fic makes sense! I'm working on getting them, it's quite a long download, and my ethernet still isn't up.  
  
Change-Of-Heart2: I like Terra mostly for the same reason I like Raven. People with trouble controlling their powers interest me. Anyway, glad you liked the chapter!  
  
Mint Dragon: It's always good that you won't kill me. I'm updating now. As for the next fic, that depends largely on when I can get a good idea to work.  
  
Scorpio Serpent: Glad you liked it!  
  
Wanda Magick: Thanks! Here's more now!  
  
JakMakai1519: Glad you liked it so far, here's more.  
  
SlayerGirl1362: Yep, things progressed. Not sure what he decided, you'll have to read the story! ;)  
  
PuprleMusicGoddess: Keep the faith!  
  
Dana1313: Glad you love it!  
  
hello: I'm finishing it, glad you liked it.  
  
Liz: Well, it was slow for me. I usually try to do one a day.  
  
Christina: You are not stupid. I'm glad that you liked how slow it progressed, I tried to make sure it wasn't just some immediate decision. It's been a day, but I'm updating now!  
  
Calisto: You'll have to wait and see.  
  
TrigunChic: Glad you liked it. They are the smallest on the team, but I think Beastboy could carry Raven as far as that. She's a small girl. I don't get writer's block too often, it should be fine.  
  
Skyward Motions: It'll keep coming!  
  
crazyone18: Maybe he picks Raven... maybe he doesn't. You'll have to read.  
  
TiggerLily130: Glad you like it.  
  
Mango Sam: Read it to find out!  
  
Pharoh of the Skies: Thanks. Here's more.  
  
UnOrthodox: Suspense is good!  
  
Mrs. Mystipik: I'm updating as fast as I can without superpowers!  
  
rave-telekinetic: You don't have to wait anymore, it's here!  
  
Cradlerobber Speedo-kun: I liked the way she lost it as well. I didn't want her to simply blow up random background object, so I used normal haunting sort of effects. Thanks for your compliments.  
  
PurpleRave: Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for complimenting me on keeping everyone in character. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.  
  
WarPrince2000: Glad you like it. I'm updating now.  
  
A/N: It may surprise you all that this is the final chapter. I simply think that this is a good place to end this fic. I might write a sequel or epilogue in the future, but I'm not sure. Thanks for reading!

* * *

An Empath's Burden

* * *

"Raven, I... I've made a decision." His voice was confident now. The decision had been made, though she couldn't tell what had been decided.  
  
"Yes, Beastboy? What have you decided?" Raven felt her own nervousness boiling inside her, weak enough not to cause a energy release, but strong enough to be discomforting. She still stared into his eyes, awaiting his answer.  
  
"Terra was very important to me, Raven. I loved her, no matter how short a time we had together. But..." Beastboy looked up at the statue, sadness in his features. He paused for a moment, then turned back to Raven. "She's gone now."  
  
Raven's mind raced over the information. She knew that Terra was important to Beastboy. He'd completely swooned for her while she was a Titan. Still, she also knew that Beastboy wanted her as well. She did not, however, want to simply be a replacement for Terra. She wanted him to love her as she was.  
  
Beastboy continued. "Still, no matter how much I loved her, she wasn't the right girl for me. When I was looking at the statue... I could swear she was talking to me. She told me to be happy, to do whatever I could to be happy enough for both of us." Beastboy smiled weakly.  
  
"I guess it sounds stupid, doesn't it?" He sighed, his smile remaining, but looking much less forced. "Still, I need to admit to it. She wasn't the right girl for me."  
  
Beastboy looked into Raven's moistening purple eyes, those beautiful eyes that he had loved for so long. "You are, Raven. I can't see myself with anyone but you, and I hope you feel the same way."  
  
Raven smiled. She felt her insides melting as he stared into her eyes. He had agreed. Not only had he agreed, but he saw her as more than just a rebound from Terra. He wanted to be with her, and he wanted to stay with her for a long time. She could feel the emotions rising inside her, but she couldn't contain them. She couldn't suppress it.  
  
She could see in his eyes that he could tell what was happening. He pulled her close to him, holding her, trying to calm her. Her emotions were still surging, but in his arms... she felt alomst serene. She let go. For the second time since she could remember, she willingly just let go.  
  
Nothing was destroyed, nothing was damaged. She let go of her emotions, she let herself be happy, she let herself love, she let herself smile and hold him. She felt relief, she felt joy, she felt all the emotions she had hidden for so long. Yet, somehow, incredibly, nothing was destroyed. The glass on the floor, the twisted metal surrounding them, the very statue of Terra herself... nothing was damaged. In Beastboy's arms, she was secure.  
  
Beastboy held her for nearly an hour, as she spoke to him about her feelings, and he spoke to her, telling her about all the new things she could feel now that she was able to let go, if only when he was holding her. She felt like she was in heaven.

* * *

She had calmed, her feelings spent, and was instead simply being held, with the security and well-being that came from it. He held her, and her empathy told her that he was calm and happy as well, simply from being able to be so close to someone. It was bliss.  
  
Suddenly, they both heard steps approaching, from behind them. Raven turned quickly, always alert to possible danger or spies. Beastboy let go of her, turning to face the person who was in such a strange location.  
  
A tall, well-muscled man stepped forward. He was dressed as any civilian would be, nothing special or interesting. He was an older man, grey-haired, and an air of quiet intelligence about him. Something in his aura was familiar to Raven, but she couldn't trace it. He stepped forward, seemingly unfazed by their presence.  
  
His voice was calm, his words well-planned and careful. He seemed as if he never spoke offhand. "I am not surprised that the Titans would come and pay respects to her as well."  
  
Raven noticed Beastboy relax. He was far too quick to trust people, but she couldn't talk to him about that right now. He spoke to the stranger. "Did you know Terra?"  
  
He nodded slowly, looking up at the statue. "She was like a daughter to me. I did many things for her, to help her."  
  
Beastboy stood next to the man, and held out his hand. "I'm Beastboy, but I guess you know that. She's Raven. Who're you?"  
  
The man turned towards him slightly, giving him an insincere handshake. "My name is unimportant. My apologies, but privacy is very important to me."  
  
Raven could feel Beastboy's nervousness and distrust, but the stranger... was perfectly calm. It was odd to feel so little coming from a normal human. It took extreme mental discipline, only Robin had such ability, garnered from his martial arts training. Well, Robin was the only person she knew of, anyway.  
  
Beastboy pulled his hand back, trying to hide his distrust. He looked back up at the statue, then sighed. "I feel bad, leaving her alone down here all the time."  
  
The stranger just nodded, wordlessly. Raven and Beastboy both felt a bit awkward, as if they were the ones stepping into someone else's private moment. They both silently walked back to their entrance. Raven and Beastboy looked at eachother, both wondering who this man was. No answers could be found easily, however, and they both began the trek back to the surface.  
  
He spoke, nearly silently, to the statue before him. "They are wrong; dear child, you are never alone."

* * *

Raven watched the small, green bird in front of her, as it flew through the midday air. The stranger and the sadness of visiting Terra had already been forgotten, as the young new couple flew through the air, Raven feeling free and happy, and Beastboy flapping his wings happily and he dove and circled around her.  
  
Their flight was short, but actually fun. Raven once again held him, as he held her, on the rooftop. She didn't feel as much this time, the situation was less dramatic, but the ability to release her constant restraint... it was amazing to her. She smiled at him, happy to be able to be happy. They both heard the rooftop door open, and were apart before either of them even knew it.  
  
"Friends, perhaps you were at... her statue?" Starfire wore an unusually serious expression. There was sadness in her voice, but neither of them expected it to last long.  
  
"Uh... Yeah. We were just going to pay respects. It's been a month, you know?" Beastboy scratched his head, feeling almost like he was lying. He wasn't technically, but it was close.  
  
Starfire looked puzzled. "Who is 'respects', and what do you pay him for? Is he a groundskeeper?"  
  
Raven shook her head, not irritated, but not surprised either. "Beastboy simply means that we went to honor her. It is simply an expression."  
  
Starfire smiled, always glad to learn a bit of Earthen lore. "Then it is good that someone paid him. Please, come in. Robin has prepared a lunch for all of us, and he hopes that we will all partake."  
  
Beastboy grinned, holding out his arm for Raven to take. Raven gingerly put her hand on his elbow, and allowed him to walk her in. Starfire didn't seem to understand the significance of the act, but smiled at them anyway. They all continued down the stairs and through the hallways, towards the common room.  
  
Raven pulled her hand away from Beastboy's arm as the common room door slid open to reveal the other two Titans, Robin was making another sandwich at the counter, while Cyborg was taking large bites out of the six-meat sandwich in his hands. Robin grinned at the people entering the room.  
  
"Hey Beastboy, this one is for you. Found some fake bacon in the fridge, so I made a BLT for you. Hope you like it. Raven, yours is coming up as soon as you tell me what you want." Robin seemed to be in a good mood, glad to have all the Titans back in the same room.  
  
Raven's dull expression didn't change. "Ham and turkey. Lettuce, tomato-" She could feel Beastboy's disgust at the meat. She sighed. All relationships took comprimise, and she supposed meat would be an easy enough one to make. "Actually, the last time I tried something new, it worked out well. Perhaps a fake bacon BLT would be nice."  
  
Beastboy grinned at her as he took a bite of his sandwich. He gave a thumbs up to Robin as he continued eating. Robin grinned back, working on another sandwich to give Raven, putting Starfire and himself at the last of the group. Starfire was still smiling at Raven, however.  
  
"You are perhaps referring to my Mango soup? It was good?" Her voice was so hopeful that Raven didn't want to spoil it by telling her what she had actually meant.  
  
"Yes, Starfire. Your mango soup was actually very good." It wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't the latest thing she had tried.

* * *

Raven meditated, floating gently above her bed. It was already evening, and the stars outside were shining brightly. She didn't see them, however, wrapped in her own mind, calming herself and repairing the recently broken shell around her emotions. Dating Beastboy, despite the calming effect he had on her, would be difficult.  
  
She'd manage, however. The way she had felt today, being held close and wanting it to last forever... she wouldn't give that up no matter what the cost. She had someone to lean on now, and she had someone whom she could console when he needed her. She had someone to need her. She smiled, despite her meditative trance.  
  
It would be difficult, but it would be wonderful. There would certainly be disagreements, there may be problems, there could be any number of setbacks. Her first kiss may end up levelling a building, but she would still be happy.  
  
She had spoken to her emotional personas, once again, during a short trip through her mirror that afternoon. They were all as calm as an emotion could be. Happy was more subdued, yet also more prevalent. Timidity was bolder than normal, and Raven had even heard her laugh, though Timidity immediately apologized for shocking her. Knowledge had been daydreaming, laying her book down long enough to stare into space, thinking of Beastboy. Wisdom had simply nodded, as if she had never expected any different outcome.  
  
Raven's mind was calm and serene, she was perfectly under control again. Everything was fine. She felt strange though, as if some long-empty void in her life had been filled. She felt complete. For the first time in her life, she wasn't alone.  
  
She would never be alone again.  
  
Forever complete.

* * *

A/N: It's a shorter chapter than normal, and it's the last one. Thanks to you all for reading this story, and I'll post another as soon as I come up with a good idea. If I can't get a good one, I'll settle for an unsual one. I have a few fic requests to look at as well, and I'll be seeing if I can get them written properly before I go and commit to them. Anyway, thanks again for reading, and please review nicely. If I get another 10 reviews, which is few for a chapter of this story, then I'll have passed my most-reviewed other story. See you guys (and gals) again next fic!

A/N/2: I'm sure you can all guess who the stranger in Terra's grave is. It's as obvious as I could make it, without simply stating. I'll give you a hint, starts with "S" and rhymes with "made". See you all next fic. (He's not dead, read the episode summaries for next season)


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